I have a good friend, a former high school classmate, who decided, late in life, to learn about football.
As I read her account I couldn't help laughing. I'm not giving her name as I have no desire to embarrass her.
Yes, it's football season . . . .
I remember talking to Sue B. at the last reunion and she knew so much about football and I was envious so today I took my first 90 min. class called “Understanding Football: Tailored for Women”. My 2nd and last class is next week. I basically knew what a touchdown was and a pass and that was about it. The guy teaching it retired in here and was a referee for the NFL and before that college teams. He said very few of our husband’s would know this so we women could finally go home and tell our husband’s something they don’t know about the NBA. (sic) Of course, I don’t have a husband so I’m passing this on to the bunny husbands. (Our high school was known as the Benson Bunnie - lyle)
Before a game, 12 brand new footballs are shipped by Fed Ex and delivered to the NFL referee’s hotel room, and on each ball where the white tie is a “K” is marked on each ball and these are the balls the kickers will use. These 12 balls are hand delivered by the referee to the ball boys before the game. Kickers can’t bring their own balls and he gave the reason for that which every red blooded football fan already knows.
Let’s see what else did I learn. Every 10 yards = a first down, or I think he said that. He explained the numbering system on the jerseys and there are 5 ineligible receivers or maybe that was 5 eligible receivers…oh, heck, I don’t know…the guy talked so fast. I learned about a live ball, a dead ball and a loose ball. Oh, yes, there is a forward pass and a backward pass but the TV announcers like to talk about a parallel pass and there is no such animal…if the ball goes in a parallel way it’s actually a backward pass. There are 7 officials on the field and a total of 22 players on the field. The “snapper” is the guy that stands over the ball – I guess he’s the dude that flips it through his legs. On the red flag, a coach can throw a red flag out 3x in a game on a time out. And, I learned what hash marks are…which was interesting because I thought all my life hash marks were … well, never mind that would be crude.
In explaining the offense and defense business he said it’s easiest to remember the “defense” is the enemy. My neighbor tried to tell me some long drawn out explanation on offense and defense and I told her not to screw me up. I know the defense is the bad guy and the offense is my team or the good guy. Gosh, I hope there isn’t a test.
I still don’t understand “scrimmage” and by the time he brought up that word I was tired. One woman seemed to know a lot which ticked me off because it was a class designed for dummies that know next to nothing about football.
My homework is to watch two games this week. I think he said something about a USC game but not sure. You are into this stuff…what’s a good game for me to watch this weekend? Sue