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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Standoff at the Drinking Fountain

The Devil Made Me Do It . . .

Try guessing what this Ad is about.

A Compellng Account of an ER doctor/Joplin Tornado

45 Seconds: Memoirs of an ER Doctor from May 22, 2011
Emergency Department
after May 22 tornado
View more photos from our Flickr
My name is Dr. Kevin Kikta, and I was one of two emergency room doctors who were on duty at St. John’s Regional Medical Center in Joplin, MO on Sunday, May 22, 2011.
You never know that it will be the most important day of your life until the day is over. The day started like any other day for me: waking up, eating, going to the gym, showering, and going to my 4:00 pm ER shift. As I drove to the hospital I mentally prepared for my shift as I always do, but nothing could ever have prepared me for what was going to happen on this shift. Things were normal for the first hour and half. At approximately 5:30 pm we received a warning that a tornado had been spotted. Although I work in Joplin and went to medical school in Oklahoma, I live in New Jersey, and I have never seen or been in a tornado. I learned that a “code gray” was being called. We were to start bringing patients to safer spots within the ED and hospital.
At 5:42 pm a security guard yelled to everyone, “Take cover! We are about to get hit by a tornado!” I ran with a pregnant RN, Shilo Cook, while others scattered to various places, to the only place that I was familiar with in the hospital without windows, a small doctor’s office in the ED. Together, Shilo and I tremored and huddled under a desk. We heard a loud horrifying sound like a large locomotive ripping through the hospital. The whole hospital shook and vibrated as we heard glass shattering, light bulbs popping, walls collapsing, people screaming, the ceiling caving in above us, and water pipes breaking, showering water down on everything. We suffered this in complete darkness, unaware of anyone else’s status, worried, scared. We could feel a tight pressure in our heads as the tornado annihilated the hospital and the surrounding area. The whole process took about 45 seconds, but seemed like eternity. The hospital had just taken a direct hit from a category EF5 tornado.
Then it was over. Just 45 seconds. 45 long seconds. We looked at each other, terrified, and thanked God that we were alive. We didn’t know, but hoped that it was safe enough to go back out to the ED, find the rest of the staff and patients, and assess our losses.
“Like a bomb went off. ” That’s the only way that I can describe what we saw next. Patients were coming into the ED in droves. It was absolute, utter chaos. They were limping, bleeding, crying, terrified, with debris and glass sticking out of them, just thankful to be alive. The floor was covered with about 3 inches of water, there was no power, not even backup generators, rendering it completely dark and eerie in the ED. The frightening aroma of methane gas leaking from the broken gas lines permeated the air; we knew, but did not dare mention aloud, what that meant. I redoubled my pace.

We had to use flashlights to direct ourselves to the crying and wounded. Where did all the flashlights come from? I’ll never know, but immediately, and thankfully, my years of training in emergency procedures kicked in. There was no power, but our mental generators were up and running, and on high test adrenaline. We had no cell phone service in the first hour, so we were not even able to call for help and backup in the ED.

I remember a patient in his early 20’s gasping for breath, telling me that he was going to die. After a quick exam, I removed the large shard of glass from his back, made the clinical diagnosis of a pneumothorax (collapsed lung) and gathered supplies from wherever I could locate them to insert a thoracostomy tube in him. He was a trooper; I’ll never forget his courage. He allowed me to do this without any local anesthetic since none could be found. With his life threatening injuries I knew he was running out of time, and it had to be done. Quickly. Imagine my relief when I heard a big rush of air, and breath sounds again; fortunately, I was able to get him transported out. I immediately moved on to the next patient, an asthmatic in status asthmaticus. We didn’t even have the option of trying a nebulizer treatment or steroids, but I was able to get him intubated using a flashlight that I held in my mouth. A small child of approximately 3-4 years of age was crying; he had a large avulsion of skin to his neck and spine. The gaping wound revealed his cervical spine and upper thoracic spine bones. I could actually count his vertebrae with my fingers. This was a child, his whole life ahead of him, suffering life threatening wounds in front of me, his eyes pleading me to help him.. We could not find any pediatric C collars in the darkness, and water from the shattered main pipes was once again showering down upon all of us. Fortunately, we were able to get him immobilized with towels, and start an IV with fluids and pain meds before shipping him out. We felt paralyzed and helpless ourselves. I didn’t even know a lot of the RN’s I was working with. They were from departments scattered all over the hospital. It didn’t matter. We worked as a team, determined to save lives. There were no specialists available -- my orthopedist was trapped in the OR. We were it, and we knew we had to get patients out of the hospital as quickly as possible. As we were shuffling them out, the fire department showed up and helped us to evacuate. Together we worked furiously, motivated by the knowledge and fear that the methane leaks could cause the hospital could blow up at any minute.
Things were no better outside of the ED. I saw a man crushed under a large SUV, still alive, begging for help; another one was dead, impaled by a street sign through his chest. Wounded people were walking, staggering, all over, dazed and shocked. All around us was chaos, reminding me of scenes in a war movie, or newsreels from bombings in Bagdad. Except this was right in front of me and it had happened in just 45 seconds. My own car was blown away. Gone. Seemingly evaporated. We searched within a half mile radius later that night, but never found the car, only the littered, crumpled remains of former cars. And a John Deere tractor that had blown in from miles away.
Tragedy has a way of revealing human goodness. As I worked, surrounded by devastation and suffering, I realized I was not alone. The people of the community of Joplin were absolutely incredible. Within minutes of the horrific event, local residents showed up in pickups and sport utility vehicles, all offering to help transport the wounded to other facilities, including Freeman, the trauma center literally across the street. Ironically, it had sustained only minimal damage and was functioning (although I’m sure overwhelmed). I carried on, grateful for the help of the community.
Within hours I estimated that over 100 EMS units showed up from various towns, counties and four different states. Considering the circumstances, their response time was miraculous. Roads were blocked with downed utility lines, smashed up cars in piles, and they still made it through.
We continued to carry patients out of the hospital on anything that we could find: sheets, stretchers, broken doors, mattresses, wheelchairs—anything that could be used as a transport mechanism.
As I finished up what I could do at St John’s, I walked with two RN’s, Shilo Cook and Julie Vandorn, to a makeshift MASH center that was being set up miles away at Memorial Hall. We walked where flourishing neighborhoods once stood, astonished to see only the disastrous remains of flattened homes, body parts, and dead people everywhere. I saw a small dog just wimpering in circles over his master who was dead, unaware that his master would not ever play with him again. At one point we tended to a young woman who just stood crying over her dead mother who was crushed by her own home. The young woman covered her mother up with a blanket and then asked all of us, “What should I do?” We had no answer for her, but silence and tears.
By this time news crews and photographers were starting to swarm around, and we were able to get a ride to Memorial Hall from another RN. The chaos was slightly more controlled at Memorial Hall. I was relieved to see many of my colleagues, doctors from every specialty, helping out. It was amazing to be able to see life again. It was also amazing to see how fast workers mobilized to set up this MASH unit under the circumstances. Supplies, food, drink, generators, exam tables, all were there—except pharmaceutical pain meds. I sutured multiple lacerations, and splinted many fractures, including some open with bone exposed, and then intubated another patient with severe COPD, slightly better controlled conditions this time, but still less than optimal.
But we really needed pain meds. I managed to go back to the St John’s with another physician, pharmacist, and a sheriff’s officer. Luckily, security let us in to a highly guarded pharmacy to bring back a garbage bucket sized supply of pain meds.
At about midnight I walked around the parking lot of St. John’s with local law enforcement officers looking for anyone who might be alive or trapped in crushed cars. They spray-painted “X”s on the fortunate vehicles that had been searched without finding anyone inside. The unfortunate vehicles wore “X’s” and sprayed-on numerals, indicating the number of dead inside, crushed in their cars, cars which now resembled flattened recycled aluminum cans the tornado had crumpled in her iron hands, an EF5 tornado, one of the worst in history, whipping through this quiet town with demonic strength. I continued back to Memorial hall into the early morning hours until my ER colleagues told me it was time for me to go home. I was completely exhausted. I had seen enough of my first tornado.
How can one describe these indescribable scenes of destruction? The next day I saw news coverage of this horrible, deadly tornado. It was excellent coverage, and Mike Bettes from the Weather Channel did a great job, but there is nothing that pictures and video can depict compared to seeing it in person. That video will play forever in my mind.
I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to everyone involved in helping during this nightmarish disaster. My fellow doctors, RN’s, techs, and all of the staff from St. John’s. I have worked at St John’s for approximately 2 years, and I have always been proud to say that I was a physician at St John’s in Joplin, MO. The smart, selfless and immediate response of the professionals and the community during this catastrophe proves to me that St John’s and the surrounding community are special. I am beyond proud.
To the members of this community, the health care workers from states away, and especially Freeman Medical Center, I commend everyone on unselfishly coming together and giving 110% the way that you all did, even in your own time of need. St John’s Regional Medical Center is gone, but her spirit and goodness lives on in each of you.
EMS, you should be proud of yourselves. You were all excellent, and did a great job despite incredible difficulties and against all odds
For all of the injured who I treated, although I do not remember your names (nor would I expect you to remember mine) I will never forget your faces. I’m glad that I was able to make a difference and help in the best way that I knew how, and hopefully give some of you a chance at rebuilding your lives again. For those whom I was not able to get to or treat, I apologize whole heartedly.
Last, but not least, thank you, and God bless you, Mercy/St John’s for providing incredible care in good times and even more so, in times of the unthinkable, and for all the training that enabled us to be a team and treat the people and save lives.
Kevin J. Kikta, DO
Department of Emergency Medicine
Mercy/St John’s Regional Medical Center, Joplin, MO

Monday, May 30, 2011

Rare Footage of Hitler Singing - Turn up the Sound!

The Brits Know How to Advertise . . .

Nescafe' and the Pope

The Nescafe brand manager has arranged a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican ...

After receiving the papal blessing, the Nescafe official whispers, "Your eminence, we have an offer for you. Nescafe is prepared to donate £100 million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."

The Pope responds, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the word of the Lord, It must not be changed."

Well," says the Nescafe man, "We anticipated your reluctance. For this Reason, we will increase our offer to £300 million. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'."

A gain, the Pope replies, "That, my son, is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed."

Finally, the Nescafe guy says, "Your Holiness, we at Nescafe respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate £500 million - that's half a billion pounds - to the great Catholic church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily coffee'. Please consider it." And he leaves.

The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals "There is some Good news," he announces, "and some bad news .... The good news is that the Church will receive a donation £500 million."

" And the bad news, your Holiness?" asks a Cardinal.

"We're losing the Wonder Bread Account."

Good Dog

What IED's really look like in Iraq

Frog Story

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to."

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife ..

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!

Happy and Sad

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of "mixed emotions". The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that is a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.

She said: "Of all your friends, you have the biggest dick."

Zen Test for Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

3. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

6. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

7. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

8. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

9. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

10. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

11. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

12. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

15. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

19. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

20. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

21. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

22. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

23. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

24. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

25. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Movie Test

Now that is just too neat - worked for me!

Movie test:

Be honest and don't look at the movie list below till you

have done the math!
Try this test and find out what movie is your favorite.

This amazing math quiz can likely predict which of 18 movies you would

enjoy the most.

It really works!

Movie Test:

Pick a number from

Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Multiply by 3 again.

Now add the two digits of your answer together to
find your predicted favorite movie in the list of 18 movies below..

Movie List:
1. Gone With The Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly.
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Obama farewell speech of 2012
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders Of The Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
18. Toy Story

Now, ain't that something?

This guy would get my vote in a heartbeat . . .

Here is the new congressmen from Florida, LTC(Ret) Alan B. West

This new Congressman was an extremely popular commander in Iraq . He was
forced to retire because during an intense combat action a few of his men were
captured. At the same time his men had captured one of the guys who were
with the Iraqis who captured his men. Knowing that time was crucial and his
interrogators were not getting any where with the prisoner COL West took
matters into his own hands. He burst into the room and demanded thru an interpreter that the prisoner tell him where his men were being taken. The prisoner
refused so COL West took out his pistol and placed it into the prisoner’s crotch and
fired. Then the COL told the prisoner that the next shot would not miss. So
the prisoner said he would show where the American service members were
being taken. The Americans were rescued. Some one filed a report on incorrect
handling of prisoners. COL West was forced to retire. COL West was just
elected in November 2010 to Congress from Florida .

During the elections he was part of a panel on how to handle or how to
relate to Muslims. You will see his answer here.

Here is one of the new congressmen from Florida explaining very definitively
in just over a minute the truth about Islam. Please watch and forward.!

Party in the Stomach

Saturday, May 28, 2011

New LAPD Policy

New LAPD Policy or if you prefer: "Through the Looking Glass- - -California's 21st Century Version"

Next, we'll only arrest citizens because they know the laws and illegals don't.

Chief Charlie Beck of the Los Angeles Police Department has ordered a change of policy at LAPD “sobriety checkpoints,” where drivers are pulled over to be checked for intoxication. Formerly, a driver found to be unlicensed had his car impounded for 30 days, whether he was sober or drunk. From now on only U..S. citizens and legal residents will have their cars impounded. Illegal immigrants will be spared.

The chief’s logic is that citizens and residents have the choice to get a license, while “undocumented immigrants” do not, and so cannot be blamed for their transgression.

The chief’s new policy met with applause from at least one quarter. Said Mexican consul general Juan Carlos Mendoza: “We really support this initiative by Chief Beck because it’s in favor of the Latino community.”

So it is, and what could be more important than that? Surely not the principle of equal protection under the law.

Source: National Review online. April 18, 2011

LAPD makes it easier for illegal immigrant drivers

Aiding and Abetting: LAPD's endorsement of lawlessness is yet another example of liberal policy and political correctness that puts the safety of American-born citizens in jeopardy when they get behind the wheel. Law enforcement for one group and not another should outrage any taxpayer with an inkling of sensibility.

Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck announced Monday that his officers will no longer automatically tow the cars of illegal immigrant drivers stopped at sobriety checkpoints. The policy comes in response to the concerns of Latino civil rights activists, who say impound fees are unfairly costing otherwise hardworking illegal immigrant drivers hundreds of dollars. Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck said his department impounds about 1,000 cars a year from illegal immigrants at sobriety checkpoints – not because they’re drunk, but because they don’t have driver’s licenses.

“As we reviewed our impound policies it became obvious to me that they had disparate impact on individuals based on something that was entirely out of their control,” Beck said. California doesn’t issue driver’s licenses to undocumented immigrants.

Under the new policy, officers will give unlicensed illegal immigrants “reasonable time” to find someone else to drive their cars home. “No longer will these checkpoints have an adverse impact on somebody merely because of their (immigration) status,” Beck said. “The sad truth is that the people who were most impacted by this law were the people that could afford it the least.”

Source: 89.1 KUOR, Southern California Public Radio

To see the Los Angeles Times article, follow this link:

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad..."
"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

(Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Chapter 6)

Beam me up Scotty!

"God Save Us..........................from ourselves"

Almost Better than a Budweiser video . . .

A robin . .

A very relaxing video. Reminds me of the early years, growing up in the midwest. Midwestern robins are prettier than California robins. Bright orange (not red) breast,
cheery song . . . and, well, just watch:


A Veteran to a Veteran

When a Veteran leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased, and others, who may have already retired, wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know.

1. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a longing for those past times.
2. We know in the Military life there is a fellowship which lasts long after the uniforms are hung up in the back of the closet.
3. We know even if he throws them away, they will be on him with every step and breath that remains in his life. We also know how the very bearing of the man speaks of what he was and in his heart still is. These are the burdens of the job. You will still look at people suspiciously, still see what others do not see or choose to ignore and always will look at the rest of the Military world with a respect for what they do; only grown in a lifetime of knowing. Never think for one moment you are escaping from that life. You are only escaping the 'job' and merely being allowed to leave 'active' duty. So what I wish for you is that whenever you ease into retirement, in your heart you never forget for one moment that you are still a member of the greatest fraternity the world has ever known.

NOW... Civilian Friends vs. Veteran Friends Comparisons:

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Get upset if you're too busy to talk to them for a week.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are glad to see you after years, and will happily carry on the same conversation you were having the last time you met.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have cried with you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it's yours.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will stand by you no matter what the crowd does.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are for a while.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Are for life.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Have shared a few experiences...
VETERAN FRIENDS: Have shared a lifetime of experiences no citizen could ever dream of...

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, 'You better drink the rest of that before you spill it!' Then carry you home safely and put you to bed...

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
VETERAN FRIENDS: Will forward this.

A veteran - whether active duty, retired, served one hitch, or reserve is someone who, at one point in their life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The Government of the United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life'...

From one Veteran to another, it's an honor to be in your company. Thank you for your service to our country and defending the freedoms we enjoy.

Life is neither a spectator sport, nor a dress rehearsal.

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence. You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves ..........Abraham Lincoln

Friday, May 27, 2011

True or False?

Can you guess which of the following are true and which are false?

(Answers are below.)

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

2. Alfred Hitchcock did not have a belly button.

3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 years..

4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.

5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop, even your heart!

6. Only 7% of the population are lefties.

7. 40-people are sent to the hospital for dog bites every minute.

8. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 years old.

9. The average person over 50 will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.

10. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.

11. The average housefly lives for one month.

12. 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets each year.

13. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened

14. The average computer user blinks 7-times a minute.

15. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than any other time of day.

16. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.

17. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.

18. The only two animals that can
see behind themselves without turning their heads are
the rabbit and the parrot.

19. John Travolta turned down the starring roles in 'An Officer and a Gentleman' and 'Tootsie.'

20. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State Anthem.

21. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.

22. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane, just in case
there is a crash.

23. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.

24. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth.
They are used in vein transplant surgery.

25. Humphrey Bogart was related to Princess Diana. They were 7th cousins.

26. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

Now, scroll down for the


They are all TRUE

Now go back and think about #16 !

Budget Cuts

These are all the taxpayer funded programs that the new Republican House has proposed cutting:

Corporation for Public Broadcasting Subsidy. $445 million annual savings.

Save America 's Treasures Program. $25 million annual savings.

International Fund for Ireland . $17 million annual savings.

Legal Services Corporation. $420 million annual savings.

National Endowment for the Arts. $167.5 million annual savings.

National Endowment for the Humanities. $167.5 million annual savings.

Hope VI Program.. $250 million annual savings.

Amtrak Subsidies. $1.565 billion annual savings.

Eliminate duplicative education programs.. H.R. 2274 (in last Congress), authored by Rep. McKeon, eliminates 68 at a savings of $1.3 billion annually.

U.S. Trade Development Agency. $55 million annual savings.

Woodrow Wilson Center Subsidy. $20 million annual savings.

Cut in half funding for congressional printing and binding. $47 million annual savings.

John C. Stennis Center Subsidy. $430,000 annual savings.

Community Development Fund. $4.5 billion annual savings.

Heritage Area Grants and Statutory Aid. $24 million annual savings.

Cut Federal Travel Budget in Half. $7.5 billion annual savings.

Trim Federal Vehicle Budget by 20%. $600 million annual savings.

Essential Air Service. $150 million annual savings.

Technology Innovation Program. $70 million annual savings.

Manufacturing Extension Partnership (MEP) Program. $125 million annual savings.

Department of Energy Grants to States for Weatherization. $530 million annual savings.

Beach Replenishment. $95 million annual savings.

New Starts Transit. $2 billion annual savings.

Exchange Programs for Alaska Natives, Native Hawaiians, and Their Historical Trading Partners in Massachusetts . $9 million annual savings. What the #@#% is this anyway?

Intercity and High Speed Rail Grants. $2.5 billion annual savings.

Title X Family Planning. $318 million annual savings.

Appalachian Regional Commission. $76 million annual savings.

Economic Development Administration. $293 million annual savings.

Programs under the National and Community Services Act. $1.15 billion annual savings.

Applied Research at Department of Energy.. $1.27 billion annual savings.

FreedomCAR and Fuel Partnership. $200 million annual savings.

Energy Star Program. $52 million annual savings.

Economic Assistance to Egypt . $250 million annually.

U.S. Agency for International Development. $1.39 billion annual savings.

General Assistance to District of Columbia . $210 million annual savings.

Subsidy for Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority. $150 million annual savings.

Presidential Campaign Fund. $775 million savings over ten years.

No funding for federal office space acquisition. $864 million annual savings.

End prohibitions on competitive sourcing of government services. Repeal the Davis-Bacon Act. More than $1 billion annually.

IRS Direct Deposit: Require the IRS to deposit fees for services it offers (such as processing payment plans for taxpayers) to the Treasury, instead of allowing payments to remain as part of its budget. $1.8 billion savings over ten years.

Require collection of unpaid taxes by federal employees. $1 billion total savings. WHAT THE @#%*& is this?

Prohibit taxpayer funded union activities by federal employees. $1.2 billion savings over ten years.

Sell excess federal properties the government does not make use of. $15 billion total savings.

Eliminate Mohair Subsidies. $1 million annual savings. (Huh?)

Eliminate taxpayer subsidies to the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. $12.5 million annual savings.

Eliminate Market Access Program. $200 million annual savings.

USDA Sugar Program. $14 million annual savings.

Subsidy to Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD).$93 million annual savings.

Eliminate the National Organic Certification Cost-Share Program. $56.2 million annual savings.

Eliminate fund for Obamacare administrative costs. $900 million savings.

Ready to Learn TV Program. $27 million savings.

Eliminate death gratuity for Members of Congress.

HUD Ph.D. Program.

Deficit Reduction Check-Off Act (Whatever that is)

TOTAL SAVINGS: $2.5 Trillion over Ten Years

My question…what THE @#*& is all this doing in the budget in the first place ? Is there anything listed you cannot do without?

In the beginning of restoration, the Patriot is a scarce man, brave, hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a Patriot.

The Villages - the town of Custom Golf Cart

Seein' is Believin'

Monkeys as Waiters . . .

Another great Budweiser ad .. .

Sex on TV

The Italian Clock

Things You MIss When You Don't Go to Church . . .

The scribblings of an elder statesman . . .

Evelyn and I got all gussied up and went to the Del Mar Country Club in Rancho Santa Fe this evening. For those outside the area, that's veddy, veddy rich country.
We mingled with the rich and famous, gorged ourselves on appetizers, roast beef, desserts. They had all kinds of expensive wines but I settled for one expensive beer while Evelyn had iced tea. We are such party animals! The soiree was a preliminary Patron Party for the supporters of the Helen Woodward Animal Shelter; next week is the big black-tie gala. I shall not attend the black tie gala as it is hard enough to get me in long pants, shoes and socks, let alone a tuxedo. They had a number of beautiful dogs on leashes . . . one, a black Afghan, was just gorgeous and she managed to steal my heart. Another, a German wire haired spaniel was also a good looking mutt . . . and they had a world famous trainer to the stars, Bill Berloni, who wrote a book, "Broadway Tails," about his training dogs for broadway, tv, and the movies. He told about rescuing a chihuahua that was vicious and destined to be euthanised that same day. He adopted her and trained her in no time. He had her at the party, and demonstrated how she would bark on command, how she would perform different tricks on command, while the cameras rolled and Bill was off-camera. Interesting presentation. No one had been able to control that dog until he came along, calmed her down, and began to train her. Kind of like "The Dog Whisperer." Marie Cunning, wife of one of my best pals, bought me an autographed copy of his book. Haven't read it yet, but shall. Eventually.

The party started at 6pm and I think it was about 7:15 or 7:30 when I suggested to Ms. Madison that we head for home. (I told you I was a party animal). As we left and rolled through the beautiful Rancho Santa Fe country with all its stately homes and ranches, I told Ms. Madison that if she really loved me she would buy me one of these cute mansions - that it would allow Trixie to elevate herself to be in the company of her equals. Ms.Madison asked who would look after Trixie in such a big mansion.

Ever quick on my feet, I answered, "Oh, my very good friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I, would commence to interview maids forthwith."

"And how would you pay this maid," she inquired.

"Oh, I'm sure we could work out some kind of barter system," I responded.

"I doubt she could live on $5 a month," she said.

Women are such hateful, smart asses!

We had originally accepted the invitation, not because we are big, wealthy patrons of the arts, but because (a) we came on a press pass, camera in hand, to do a story about the soiree and its mission to raise money to save animals and benefit the Helen Woodward Animal Shelter, and (b) I had originally thought to lineup patrons as possible supporters for the grandiose idea I had for my "Forever Home" idea. As you will note in a separate email, sent earlier today, I learned that idea simply is not practical nor realistic . . . so am busily revamping my goals and plans.

Planning on one, maybe two, more concerts. Looks like July 23rd for a Beach Boys Tribute Band concert and another, less certain of date and time, of a Gospel Jubilee. The Gospel Jubilee I'd have to build from the ground up. Locate hundreds of gospel singers, call them in for auditions, select the cream of the crop, then put the show together. Have a dress rehearsal or two, and then launch.

Remarkable. A dedicated heathen, promoting a Gospel Concert. Hey! It's good music and I tap my toes to it, like anyone else. I even hum or sing gospel songs around the house .. ."Amazing Grace," "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot," "I'll Fly Away," and my all-time favorite, "What a Friend We Have in Lyle . . . "

I reckon we can enlist a lot of churches to sell tickets and keep a portion of ticket sales as a fundraiser for their own church. One pal of mine, when told of the plan, said, "Lyle, we could sell out that concert just from our own church." I like the sound of that. We shall see.

A lot of scut work to do tonight . . . but I think I'm just gonna let it slide. Next week's cover story and the rest of the paper is about 95% complete so I can coast for a bit. Besides, my eyes are giving me fits lately. Vision is going, going, going.
Gonna get an appointment with an optometrist and see if I need a new Rx for glasses . . . maybe those glasses with lenses like Coke bottle bottoms. Evelyn says it's because I'm in front of the computer for 12-15 hours a day. And, of course, she's right. She almost always is.

Just learned today that she had a medical appointment yesterday and the doc told her she was pre-diabetic . . . so she's gonna exercise more . . . and I may just tag along. Maybe, together, we can lose weight and chase away the nasty old diabetes.
Not particularly painful for me . . . toes are numbing up (normal diabetic neuropathy) but other than that, just an inconvenience and I get tired of taking the damned meds all the time, and testing, and taking insulin, and having to be careful of what I eat and drink. Maybe she and I can beat it together.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A Reality Check

We had lunch today with good friend and retired veterinarian, Don Brust, and his child bride, Ina.

Aside from just wanting to enjoy lunch with some good people, the event was also designed to pick Don's brains about my idea for "A Forever Home," where I would become a modern day Don Quixote, assuming I could find me a Sancho Panza.

Don explained the facts of life to me.

I had let my emotions run away with me and needed to hear some realistic, practical facts:
a. Permits. San Diego County has not issued a kennel permit in over 10 years . . . and there's no sign they're about to change their ways. If you have more than five dogs, you have to have a kennel permit.
b. You have to have a facility in place before even applying for a permit. You don't get a permit, based on a proposal, architect's plans, etc.
1. Said facility must have a cement floor, adequate sewage disposal, staff to clean up waste at least once, preferably twice, a day, comply with zoning, have a buffer zone for sound to keep barking from disturbing neighbors.
2. My idea of dogs romping about in a grassy meadow won't work either. To many dropping that would not get cleaned up. Dogs rescued from shelters and humane societies are often abandoned, neglected, or abused. We would not know if they had been vaccinated, if they were carrying parasites or other communicable diseases, they'd have to have a minimum of 10-14 day quarantine . . . even then, you couldn't let them run loose in a grassy field. No way to control them or contain them. Fencing wouldn't work; they can jump fences, so can coyotes. And fleas. And ticks.

Other nightmare stories came from Dawna, a good friend in LA, who told me about a friend of hers who had a horse sanctuary that was successful for a time but after 9/11 when donations dried up she lost everything, home, savings, and eventually the horses. She was stuck with lawsuits, fractured friends in the animal community, and one of her friends got a three year jail sentence.

Your time might be better spent in lecturing/raising funds for birth control for animals. Eric Roberts is working with people on this problem. It cuts out the problem before it exists.

The other thing I meant to say in my post yesterday is the animal rescue world is, literally, dog eat dog. Coming in from nowhere will get you enemies from the get-go. They will hate that you are trying to take money and acclaim from them.

Don't do it.

My two cents.

Instead, put your efforts behind this great cause:

Why not just support the sanctuaries that are already doing this, i.e. Best Friends in Utah and many others?

Writing and your paper is what you know and do well.

Animal rescue is a bottomless pit of un-appreciation, angst, and impossible work with poor results.

It was interesting that both Don and Ina mentioned Best Friends, in Utah, as a possible outlet where I could ship dogs scheduled for euthanasia.

Perhaps I will redirect my efforts to save as many dogs as I can from unnecessary euthanasia by a heavy public relations and marketing campaign to existing animal shelters and humane societies, to allow me to act as intermediary in getting those animals shipped to Best Friends or someplace similar.

We still will work diligently to save dogs . . . just in a bit different manner. We may put together a clever education campaign designed to
both let the animal shelters/humane society know we're here and what our mission is, and to educate the public even more about spaying and neutering.

Not sure what form it will take . . . I want to do something . . . but I recognize my original plan was great . . . just not practical or realistic.

Back to the drawing board.


(And thanks to Don/Ina Brust, Dawna, Bruce Krider, and a whole host of others who have shared their thoughts, insight, and ideas with me).

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A UFO Prank . . coming soon

You've probably heard of the Internet group "Anonymous." If you haven't, they're a bunch of computer whiz-kids and hackers who go about various forms of mischief, including attacking websites and taking them over to add silly things to them or belittle the (usually deserving) owners.

They take the position that they're representing the "little man" and are a force to expose corporate treachery or just sheer bullshit wherever they see it. For example, KISS bassist Gene Simmons once wrote on his blog that people who download music illegally should all be sued into poverty and thrown into prison with violent homosexuals. (Yeah, like Simmons needs another million bucks to light cigars with...) Anonymous hacked his site and brought it down for a short period of time. Simmons kinda softened his outlook after that.

They've exposed various corporations that engage in rotten business practices, somewhat like Wikileaks, but they always have a more playful and fun attitude about it. When Sony's Playstation website went down due to a major hack, Anonymous released a statement saying, "For once, it wasn't us." Sony continued to blame them, so Anonymous actually did attack them.

Besides stunts that were simply silly or outrageous, Anonymous has released Bank of America documents showing all sorts of corrupt and criminal activities by them, attacked and bought down Internet censorship sites for the government of Australia (and sites everywhere that advocate Internet censorship), and gave mass-hacker support to the activists in Iran. And Anonymous has had a long-running (and often hilarious) battle with the Church of Scientology.

Some think of them as malicious and dangerous thugs. Others see them as heroes. Nobody knows how many there are around the world, but they all apparently share the same black sense of humor. If you want more info on them, there's a ton on Wikipedia. (If you go there, look up Anonymous' "Operation Titstorm.")

Anyway, the latest announced prank they're going to pull is coming next Sunday, starting around 8:00 PM. For this one, they've invited pranksters who are not members of Anonymous to join in. At that time, Anonymous is going to flood UFO reporting sites around the world with phony reports of triangular UFOs flying all over the world and landing everywhere. They encourage people to call local TV news stations and give dramatic (and totally false) descriptions of UFOs, and to fake UFO films and flood YouTube with them. They also suggest going out and making a few "crop circle" landing zones in conspicuous areas.

Why? Just for the hell of it.

So, if Monday morning your local radio or television news or newspaper headlines lead with a story about a massive UFO "invasion," now you will know what's behind it. Anonymous rarely announces mass attacks for obvious reasons. The more people who are in on it, the more people will know about it and ready themselves for it. If I worked for CBS News, for example, I'd be warning my bosses that this was coming so they wouldn't get caught with their pants down and give half-hysterical reports on the CBS Morning show about an "invasion."

But some news organizations WILL be sucked in, and it will be interesting to see the results.

You can read more about this "prank" at

We can't stop it, so we might as well sit back and see what the results are. But now YOU know what's behind it.

(From good friend, Kent Ballard).

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Queen of England

The Queen of England is a cool lady.

During WW II she volunteered to join the British equivalent of the WACS.
She signed up and put on the uniform and did her duty. Someone sent her
a message from Buckingham Palace, and they didn't want to use a phone
because Germans listening in might have realize then-Princess Elizabeth
was working on an British Army base somewhere in England and they could
have bombed it in an attempt to kill her.

So they sent a courier.

The guy arrives at the British Army base and was told that Princess
Elizabeth was down at the motor pool. He was escorted to the pool and
looked around everywhere. He couldn't find her, but he did find her
sergeant. "Could you take me to Princess Elizabeth please?" The sergeant
said to follow him...

They walked over to a Jeep that was up on jack stands, a large puddle of
oil leaking out from under it. The sergeant cleared his throat and said,
"Your Majesty, you have a caller."

A young girl--I think she was only 16 or 17 at the time--scooted out
from beneath the Jeep on her butt. When she stood up, it took the
courier a moment or two to recognize her. She was wearing filthy,
oil-soaked coveralls, her hair that was not tucked up under her service
cap was greasy, and her face was spattered with motor oil. But she
recognized the courier and nodded to him in a Royal fashion and
immediately became part of the Royal family again, standing there with a
wrench in her hand looking like a teenage garage mechanic more than a
princess. She took the message, dictated a reply, then saluted her
sergeant and crawled back under the Jeep to finish the job.

Flash forward to the 1970's--

While on a visit to Canada, while Pierre Trudeau was Prime Minister, he
had a genuinely foxy wife. Can't recall her name just now, but she was a
looker. She chose a pencil dress that was modest but showed off her
figure to greet the Queen when she arrived. There was a large crowd and
about 40 TV cameras on them. Trudeau's wife curtsied in the tight dress
while shaking Queen Elizabeth's hand. To her utter horror, she realized
that she could not straighten her legs in the confining dress and was
trapped in a half-crouch, unable to stand again.

I read her account of it years later. She had no idea what to do and was
literally hanging on to the Queen to keep from falling over. She said
Queen Elizabeth saw the panic in her eyes and realized her predicament.
Without batting an eye, without the slightest trace of a change on her
face, the Queen gripped the hell out of the younger woman's hand and
simply LIFTED her up into a standing position. The woman said it was if
a strong man had taken her hand and helped her up. They play-acted like
nothing happened and went on with the ceremony, but even years later
Trudeau's wife said she was amazed at the strength in that little old lady.


On the Lighter Side


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled."

So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

A Government Run Dental Plan . . . a classic

I've seen this clip a dozen times. Still cracks me up. What a great comedic duo!

The Real Rambo Dies . . .

He died in 2009, but this story bears retelling:

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

The Brits know how to advertise

Made me laugh out loud.

And the Brits DO know how to advertise!

One of their tabloids over there is famous for "The Page 3 Girls." Always pics of beautiful women, topless.

I Was Skaid! Took my burger, I don't know where it went . . .

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Random Thoughts on an early Sunday morning . . .

Sunday morning: 4:50am, Pacific time . . .

Spring done sprang out here in the wild, wild west as well, Karen Sue. I noticed it particularly yesterday on the three or four occasions when I took Trixie out for her walkies. She's been frustrating me lately because we did have a system down where she would 'signal' when she wanted to go potty. She'd stand up on her hind legs and paw at my thigh, while I was seated at my desk. "Okay," sez me, "I'll take ya. Let's go." We would head out to the the bitterly unforgiving winds of approximately 10 mph, with soaring temperatures of 78-80 degrees . . . suitably attired in my blue terrycloth robe and my stunning Birkenstock sandals, casually holding her leash as she roamed around the front yard, exploring every gopher hole she could find. Lately, she has discivered a new diversion. Lizards. She loves to chase lizards. I rather like lizards and don't want her to catch them. I think lizards are kinda cute. Plus, I don't like to see anything killed, except for flies, mosquitoes, Gadaffi and Bin Laden. So, I jerk her leash and say "No!" She understands this word and cheerfully accepts my command and proceeds to the backyard, for which I am grateful. Here there is a nice, comfortable lawn chair where I may rest my weary bones after having trudged around for maybe 10 minutes with no result.

Of the three or four occasions I took her out, only once did she go tinkle. Once! And that is what frustrates me. She has abused the "signal" we had been using. I don't mind taking her out when she truly does have to go potty. But I don't like it when she takes me away from my work just to romp in the grass, chase gophers and lizards, and to just lie, stretched out, on the nice soft green grass, looking for all the world like a pup that is of regal status.

After about five minutes of this, I give her the infamous Davis glare and say, "okay, young lady, we're going back in the house. You did not do your duty!" Of course, if she has done her duty, then daddy praises the hell out of her. We return to the house, I take off her leash and she runs down the hall looking for mommy. She doesn't seem at all concerned that she has taken her daddy away from very important work, chronicling the great events of our time, while working steadily in my palatial office.

About 6pm last night, Evelyn asked me if I was planning on being the Hugh Hefner of Escondido.

"Why, no," sez me, "why do you ask?"

"Well," sez her, "you've been in your robe and sandals all day long. I figured you were either trying to portray Hugh Hefner, who lounges around the Playboy Mansion, night and day, in his robe. Or perhaps you were trying to emulate Jesus, who also was said to wear a robe and sandals."

I assured her everything was just fine, I was just growing a bit eccentric as I aged.

Shooting the Messenger:

Like many of us, I figured the "birthers" were mostly comprised of far right wing wackos. I had little time for them and I tired of receiving all the emails alleging that Obama was born under a bush somewhere in Kenya.

But then I received a note from a local patent attorney with an analysis of the long form certificate of live birth that had been released by the Associated Press, via the White House. He showed that the pdf file that displayed the form was, in fact, a series of layers that had been blended together. Several other correspondents forwarded me videos from strangers, but who were clearly very talented and knowledgeable graphic artists. They knew pdf's. They knew Photoshop. They knew how to assemble and disassemble photo art.

I have my own, very talented, Art Director, Troy Larson. I sent him the original pdf, and asked him to take a look at it and tell me what he thought. I posted his comments yesterday. He says, very clearly, that this document is not only a fake, it is a poor fake . . . badly done, easily recognized as a fake. He went so far as to say the person who put this document together should be fired for incompetence. Four people saying the same thing. Demonstrating the same thing, showing the different elements, showing how some of the numbers in the document were added as a new element to a pre-existing number. Of the four people, I knew two of them personally. Neither are far right wing wackos. They are highly trained, skilled technical talents.

Though I have thought the birthers were nuts .. . I am also a skeptic . . . and am beginning to have my own doubts about the authenticity of this document, based on the presentation of forensic evidence from two people I know and trust and two others I don't know from a door knob but appear to know whereof they speak.

I decided to share that information with many of my correspondents, seeking their comment and/or discussion.

To my great surprise, rather than accept the information I posted, and examine it to determine if it needed further investigation, one of my long time correspondents sought to shoot me down . . . suggesting, in so many words, that I had become a bit like Chicken Little and was running around in circles yelling that the world was coming to an end.

I was not. I was sharing information that I had received . . . seeking further discussion and/or investigation.

While I would not yet characterize myself as a "birther," I do find that I am a lot more skeptical as to the authenticity of the alleged certificate of birth based on forensic examination and evidence that suggests to me the document was tampered with.

While I am gravely, though not mortally, wounded by he who shot the messenger, I shall survive.

But I sure could use a young, attractive nurse to tend to my wounds.

And maybe to shine my shoes. Or sandals.

And, while she's at it, a good Omaha steak, medium rare, if you please.

At 5:20am, Pacific time, on a Sunday . . . this is me.

POOF! I am gone.

Recent USAF Thunderbird Crash [Sept 2010, Mountain Home AFB]

View from both outside and inside the aircraft...

Read this first

Density Altitude strikes again...

Pretty impressive videos of the crash of the USAF Thunderbirds' Solo #6
during air show at Mountain Home AFB, Idaho this past September.

The First video (wmv file) shows the maneuver on takeoff and then the crash,
including audio of T-bird radio communications as the accident happens.
"Knock it off" is the radio code to immediately end the air show.

Pilot of #6 was an F-15 instructor pilot at Tyndall AFB until last year when
he joined the Thunderbirds. He was banged up on ejection but is evidently

The second video (mpg file) is a cockpit view of pilot (no audio) showing
him doing the maneuver and then punching out just before impact
- talk about close - look how quick the screen goes static after he ejects.

You can sense how fast the ground was coming up to meet him.

Plain and simple, he did incorrect math for the field elevations and density
altitude, so as he pulled over the top and called out the altitude, he and
his backup ground guy thought he was OK... how he lived is still the

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE