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Sunday, October 31, 2010

Cat & Crow: Love or hate animals, you will like this

The Cat and The Crow . . .

Cat & Crow: Love or hate animials, you will like this

And Then It is Winter . .

You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.

It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all...

And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is..the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well...seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like... But, here it friends are retired and getting gray...they move slower and I see an older person now. Lots are in better shape than me... but, I see the great change... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant... but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will..I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!!

But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over...its over....Yes , I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done ...... things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime....

So, if you're not in your winter yet...let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!!

Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your, live .......

'Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.'

What It is . . . Is Football!

Something to chuckle about before you watch your favorite college football team play today. GO NEBRASKA!

#1. ‘Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas ! '
- Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

#2. 'After you retire, there's only one big event left... and I ain't ready for that.' - Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#3. 'The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.' - Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#4. 'When you win, nothing hurts.' - Joe Namath / Alabama

#5.. 'Motivation is simple.. You eliminate those who are not motivated.' - Lou Holtz / Arkansas

#6. 'If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the password, 'Roll, tide, roll!' - Bear Bryant / Alabama

#7. 'A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall.' - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

#8. 'There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.' - Woody Hayes / Ohio State

#9.. 'I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.' - Bob Devaney / Nebraska

#10. 'In Alabama , an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant.' - Wally Butts / Georgia

#11. 'You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in life.' - Paul Dietzel / LSU

#12. 'It's kind of hard to rally around a math class.' - Bear Bryant / Alabama

#13. When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world: 'No, but you can see it from here.' - Lou Holtz / Arkansas ...

#14. 'I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not in a game.' - Bear Bryant / Alabama

#15. 'There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the goal line.' - Matty Bell / SMU

#16. 'Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died.' - Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

#17. 'I never graduated from Iowa , but I was there for two terms - Truman's and Eisenhower's.' - Alex Karras / Iowa

#18. 'My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.' -Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

#19. 'I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades.' - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

#20. 'Always remember... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David .' - Shug Jordan / Auburn

#21. 'They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces.' - Darrell Royal / Texas

#22. 'Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure.' - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#23.. 'They whipped us like a tied up goat.' - Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

#24. 'I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't recruit me and he said: 'Well, Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good..' - Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State

#25. 'Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering wheel.' - Bobby Bowden / Florida State

#26. 'Football is not a contact sport - it is a collision sport. Dancing is a contact sport.' - Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

#27. After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team: 'All those who need showers, take them.' - John McKay / USC

#28. 'If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education.' - Murray Warmath / Minnesota

#29. 'The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb.' - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#30. 'Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.' - Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

#31. 'It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it.' - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#32. 'We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches....' - Darrell Royal / Texas

#33. 'We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking..' - Wilson Matthews / Little Rock Central High School

#34. 'Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad.' - Darrell Royal / University of Texas

#35. 'I've found that prayers work best when you have big players.' - Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

#36. 'Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.' - John Heisman

Friday, October 29, 2010

A Dark and Stormy Night . . .

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty Hill were vacationing in Europe... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.
A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts,"Hello My name is Bob Hill and this is my wife Betty Hill. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone.. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"
Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob Hill and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace... He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory.

He bursts in and shouts to his master:

"Master, Master! ..... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

What did you expect?

Its free from a demented old friend on the Internet.

The Lecture

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 1 a. m.

and is asked where he is going at

this time of night.

The man relies,

“I am going to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body”.

The officer then asks,

“Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?”

The man replies,

“My wife.”

The Game

I have been worried since the start of the college football season about Missouri.

They are a good football team . . . ours, the Nebraska Cornhuskers, can be a good, even great football team. They can also be amateurish. The question is, which Husker team is going to show up tomorrow?

I see it as a 10 point game. If the Huskers that played South Dakota State and Texas show up, Missouri will win by at least 10 points.

If the real Huskers show up, I see the Huskers winning by 10 points.

My gut tells me the Huskers aren’t ready yet. I see Missouri winning by 10 points.

(Oh, how I hope I’m wrong!)

Go Big Red!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

How To End the War . . .

This is very funny!

Do You Dance?

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance ... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.

Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

The silence was almost deafening.

The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 10 gauge barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir ... but... I've always wanted to."

There are a few lessons for us all here:

Never be arrogant.

Don't waste ammunition.

Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

Don't mess with old folks, they didn't get old by being stupid.

I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

Taps . . .

The conductor of the orchestra is Andre Rieu from Austria.

Many of you may never have heard taps played in its entirety.

The young lady, her trumpet and her rendition of TAPS makes your hair stand on end.

(Gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes . . . just beautiful! lyle)


This is a hoot .... Sad, because it is TRUE ..... But a hoot! By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND "TENJOOBERRYMUDS"

In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.
Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between maybe you as a hotel guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old U S A today.......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen?"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.."

Room Service: "Ow July den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?!?... Pryed, boyud, poochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. July Sahn toes?"

Guest: "I... Don't think so."
RoomService: "No? Judo wan sahn toes?"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We bodder?"

Guest: "No, just put the bodder on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

RoomService: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy .... Rye?"

Guest: "Whatever you say.."

RoomService: "Tenjooberrymuds."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND 'TENJOOBERRYMUDS' ".......and you do,don't you!

When Show Biz Used to Be Good . . .

Remember when entertainers put on shows where you could actually understand the words?

And the music did not split your eardrums?

Go here:

Some Political Information

It's time to become informed about who to vote for on November 2nd . . . let's save our country . . .


Don’t forget. November 2 is “Take out the trash day!”

The following senators voted against making English the official language of America.
Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN)
Biden (D-DE)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY)
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT)
Domenici (R-NM) (You know why he voted No)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA)
Kohl (D-WI)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Wyden (D-OR)

Now, the following are the senators who voted to give illegal aliens Social Security benefits.

They are grouped by home state. If a state is not listed, there was no voting representative.

Alaska : Stevens (R)
Arizona : McCain (R)
Arkansas : Lincoln (D) Pryor (D)
California : Boxer (D) Feinstein (D)
Colorado : Salazar (D)
Connecticut : Dodd (D) Lieberman (D)
Delaware : Biden (D) Carper (D)
Florida : Martinez (R)
Hawaii : Akaka (D) Inouye (D)
Illinois : Durbin (D) Obama (D)
Indiana : Bayh (D) Lugar (R)
Iowa: Harkin (D)
Kansas : Brownback (R)
Louisiana: Landrieu (D)
Maryland : Mikulski (D) Sarbanes (D)
Massachusetts : Kennedy (D) Kerry (D)
Montana : Baucus (D)
Nebraska : Hagel (R)
Nevada: Reid (D)
New Jersey : Lautenberg (D) Menendez (D)
New Mexico : Bingaman (D)
New York : Clinton (D) Schumer (D)
North Dakota : Dorgan (D)
Ohio : DeWine (R) Voinovich(R)
Oregon : Wyden (D)
Pennsylvania : Specter (D)
Rhode Island : Chafee (R) Reed (D)
South Carolina : Graham (R)
South Dakota : Johnson (D)
Vermont : Jeffords (I) Leahy (D)
Washington : Cantwell (D) Murray (D)
West Virginia : Rockefeller (D), by Not Voting
Wisconsin : Feingold (D) Kohl (D)


The Way It Should Be . . .

If it were only this easy...

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Jail vs. Nursing Homes

Here's the way it should be: Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.

This would correct two things in one motion:

Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video managing, so they would be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing - I.e.., shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free, upon request.

There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.

Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room at no cost.

They would receive daily phone calls..

There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.

The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.

As for the criminals:

They would receive cold food.

They would be left alone and unsupervised.

They would receive showers once a week..

They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month.

They would have no hope of ever getting out.

"Sounds like justice to me!"

I could do this . . . if I wanted. I just don't wanna:

Cowboy Rules . . .

I have lived, loved, lost and loved again. Life is not easy,..... but it is what it is.

Cowboy rules for:
Arizona, Texas , Oklahoma, Colorado , New Mexico , Wyoming , Montana , Utah ,Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Idaho and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Excellent Sayings to Live By . . .

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine

Get the Facts Right . . .

The day the Democrats took over was not January 22nd 2009
-- it was actually January 3rd 2007.

The day the Democrats took over the House of Representatives & Senate, the start of the 110th Congress.

The Democratic Party controlled a majority in both chambers for the first time since the end of the 103rd Congress in 1995.

"For those of you who are listening to the liberals propagating the fallacy that everything is "Bush's Fault," think about this:

January 3rd, 2007 was the day the Democrats took over the Senate and the Congress:

At the time:
The DOW Jones closed at 12,621.77
The GDP for the previous quarter was 3.5%
The Unemployment rate was 4.6%

George Bush's Economic policies SET A RECORD of 52 STRAIGHT MONTHS of JOB CREATION!

Remember the day.

January 3rd, 2007 was the day that Barney Frank took over theHouse Financial Services Committee and Chris Dodd took over the Senate Banking Committee.

The economic meltdown that happened 15 months later was in what part of the economy?

THANK YOU DEMOCRATS for taking us from 13,000 DOW, 3.5 GDP and 4.6% Unemployment to this CRISIS by (among MANY other things) dumping 5-6 TRILLION Dollars of toxic loans on the economy from YOUR Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac FIASCOS!

(BTW: Bush asked Congress 17 TIMES to stop Fannie & Freddie - starting in 2001 because it was financially risky for the US economy).

So when some idiot tries to blame Bush


Bush may have been in the car but the Democrats were in charge of the gas pedal and steering wheel they were driving.

"It's not that liberals don't know anything, it's just that so much of what they know is wrong." -Ronald Reagan

Bush tried to prevent the housing meltdown?

This video says it all. The liberal media reportedly did not want this video on You Tube; it was taken off. This link is of the same video, but is routed through Canada .

Everyone in America needs to see this before it is Yanked off the internet again! Let's see how far we can spread it before it's pulled it off the Canadian site.

Salary Secrets: Public Workers' Wages made Public

If you've ever wondered how much city and county employees make, here's your chance to find out. The state controller has unveiled a new website that lists the salary, pension benefits and other compensation for more than 594,000 workers throughout California.

Bell's City Manager Robert Rizzo was making over $787,000 a year. The outrage prompted a new website by the state controller. It lists the salary of every single public employee.

"While what happened in Bell was a horrible situation of abuse of power, the good part is we'll see increased transparency throughout the state of California," Lani Lutar of the San Diego Coutny Taxpayers Association said.

City manager salaries range from $184,000 in Imperial Beach to $285,000 in San Marcos. A meter reader supervisor for the water department in Escondido makes $80,826.

Some city employees aren't too pleased with the website, saying they weren't elected and are just low-level employees who deserve privacy. But to that critics say, remember, we, the taxpayers, pay your salary.

"Anybody that goes into the public sector should assume that there is a certain level of information that'll be made public, including their compensation levels, and there shouldn't be anything to hide," Lutar said.

To find the information for your city just go to the State Controller’s Website at:

Once there, click on the alphabetical letter for your city’s name. It will come up with a complete list of all salaries and benefits.

Follow the money!

This speaks volumes about what happens in politics.

Top All-Time Donors, 1989-2010 | OpenSecrets

Cut & paste to browser very revealing

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Ultimate Island Green

Welcome to Sunny Mexico! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Gunmen attack Mexico rehab center, at least 13 die
By MARIANA MARTINEZ, Associated Press Writer,

Monday, October 25, 2010 at 7:40 a.m.

TIJUANA, Mexico — Armed men burst into a drug rehab center in the Mexican border city of Tijuana and police said at least 13 people were killed in a city where officials had been celebrating a seeming drop in drug gang terror..

A witness, who asked to be identified only by his first name, Jesus, for fear of reprisals, said he had stepped out for something to eat when the attacked occurred late Sunday.

When he returned, his fellow clients told him the attackers made the addicts lie on the floor, and then sprayed them with bullets, killing 13. Other clients sleeping upstairs in the center also survived. There are normally about 45 clients at the center.

Prosecutors had not yet confirmed the number of dead. Police at the scene said at least 10 were killed.

It was the second massacre of the weekend in Mexico: 14 people were killed Friday night when gunmen stormed a birthday party in another border city, Ciudad Juarez.

The attack on the ramshackle, privately run center in Tijuana is the first such mass killing at a rehab center in the city, praised by some for its anti-gang efforts.

Several such attacks have killed dozens of recovering addicts Ciudad Juarez, and a voice was heard over a police radio frequency later saying "this is a taste of Juarez."

Just two weeks ago, President Felipe Calderon touted Tijuana as a success story in his nearly four-year-old drug war, noting during a festival to promote the city's industries that homicides are down from a peak in 2008.

Since his visit, drug gangs have resumed gruesome tactics not seen in the Tijuana for months, beheading rivals and hanging bodies from bridges. Some residents have expressed fear that the cartels are deliberating intensifying the violence to undermine Calderon's message.

The attack also comes about week after the government's record Oct. 18 seizure of 148 tons (134 metric tons) of marijuana in Tijuana.

While police have not identified the motive in the Tijuana slayings, drug gangs have attacked such centers before to target rival gang members.

In Ciudad Juarez, prosecutors' spokesman Arturo Sandoval said three municipal police officers were found shot to death outside their patrol vehicle on Sunday.

And in the southern Pacific coast state of Guerrero on Sunday, state police found the bound, executed bodies of six men on a highway outside the resort city of Acapulco.

The men had been blindfolded, their hands and feet bound, and shot to death with assault rifles, the state Public Safety Department reported.

The killers left three handwritten messages with bodies, a tactic frequently employed by Mexico's drug gangs to threaten their rivals or authorities, but police routinely do not reveal the contents of such messages.

Nationwide, more than 28,000 people have been killed in drug gang violence since December 2006, when Calderon deployed soldiers to battle the cartels in their strongholds in northern Mexico and along the Pacific coast.

While the government says most of the dead were involved in the drug trade, innocent bystanders have also died, like three people killed in the crossfire of a shootout between gunmen, police and soldiers in northern Coahuila state Sunday.

The victims were a 14-year-old boy and two women aged 18 and 47, according to a statement by the state prosecutors' office.

The statement said gunmen traveling in two vehicles opened fire on a convoy of federal police officers and soldiers in the city of Saltillo, Coahuila. The officers and soldiers returned fire.

It was not clear who fired the shots that killed the bystanders, but the state attorney general's office said it was investigating and expressed condolences to the victims' families.

"They are civilians who unfortunately died in the exchange of gunfire," it said, describing a running series of confrontations between police and assailants who allegedly fired shots into the air to clear bystanders from their path at one point.

In Ciudad Juarez, meanwhile, the death toll from a birthday party massacre late Friday rose to 14 when an 18-year-old man died of his wounds.

Nineteen people were wounded in the attack on two private homes where about four dozen partygoers had gathered for a teenager's birthday.

The dead identified so far were 13 to 32 years old, and the majority of the victims were high school students, a survivor said.

While investigators said they have not yet identified the perpetrators or a motive, police found 70 bullet casings from assault weapons typically used by drug gangs at the scene of the shootings. Cartel violence has killed more than 2,000 people so far this year in the city, which is across from El Paso, Texas.

Drug gangs have increasingly attacked private parties they believe members of rival gangs might be attending; innocent partygoers are often killed in such attacks.

On Sunday, prosecutors in northern Chihuahua state, where Ciudad Juarez is located, said they were searching for a man known only by his nickname, "The Mouse," who was apparently the target of the gunmen.

The man was reportedly wounded in the Friday shooting, but has disappeared. Investigators said they believe he can provide information on who was trying to kill him.

Memorial services were held Sunday for some of the victims of Friday's attack, and prosecutors said guards had been provided to protect the services.

I worked so hard . . .

Made me hungry just to read it . . .

From a fellow alum of dear old Benson High School in Omaha. He now lives in New England:

Let's see if I can do this in my best New England accent.
Did you say you like Clam Chowdah? Did you say you like Mac & Cheese?
Well you ain't nevah had eithah like this befoeah.

Had this for dinnah Saturday night.
Clam Chowder Casserole
serves 4

1 (8-ounce) package of elbow macaroni
2 cups (8 ounces) shredded sharp white Cheddar cheese
2 (10-3/4 oz) cans condensed New England Clam Chowder
2 (6-1/2 oz) cans minced clams, drained
2 scallions, thinly sliced
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup oyster crackers
1 tablespoon butter

1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Coat an 8 inch square baking dish with
nonstick cooking spray.
2. Cook the macaroni according to the package directions; drain then return
to cooking pot.
3. Add the cheese, clam chowder, clams, scallions, and pepper to the
macaroni; mix well. Pour into baking dish, sprinkle evenly with crackers,
and drizzle with melted butter.
4. Bake 25 to 30 minutes, or until bubbly, and the topping is golden.

For added color and flavor, mix in half of a sliced red bell pepper along with the chowder and other ingredients.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Truck for Sale

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell
and scream, 'Where did you get that truck?!' He calmly told them, 'I bought it today.'

'With what money?' demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.

'Well,' said the boy, 'this one cost me just fifteen dollars.' So the parents began to yell even louder. 'Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?' they said.

'It was the lady up the street,' said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.'

'Oh my Goodness!,' moaned the mother, 'she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on.' So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

'Well,' she said, 'this morning I got a phone call from my husband. (I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back).

He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money.

So I did.'

(Are women good or what?)

The Mining Miracle in Chile - an update

While the White House may not believe in American exceptionalism, I do. And I'm thinking there's a whole bunch of people in Chile that would agree.

Regarding the mine rescue, did you know:

The guy that designed the rescue module was a NASA Engineer?

The Drill was made by Schramm Inc. from Pennsylvania.

The Drill Bits were made by Center Rock, Inc. located in Berlin, Pennsylvania.

The lead driller Jeff Hart and his team are from Denver, Colorado. They are on loan from the US Military in Afghanistan where they are drilling water wells for our Forward Operating Bases. He spent the next 33 days on his feet, operating the drill that finally provided a way out Saturday for 33 trapped miners. "You
have to feel through your feet what the drill is doing; it's a vibration you get so that you know what's happening," explained Hart.

Hart was called in from Afghanistan, "simply because he's the best" at drilling larger holes with the T130's wide-diameter drill bits, Stefanic said.

Standing before the levers, pressure meters and gauges on the T130's control panel, Hart and the rest of the team faced many challenges in drilling the shaft. At one point, the drill struck a metal support beam in the poorly mapped mine, shattering its hammers. Fresh equipment had to be flown in from the United States and progress was delayed for days as powerful magnets were lowered to pull out the pieces.

The mine's veins of gold and copper ran through quartzite with a high level of abrasive silica, rock so tough that it took all their expertise to keep the drill's hammers from curving off in unwanted directions. "It was horrible," said Center Rock President Brandon Fisher, exhausted after hardly sleeping during the effort.

Fisher, Stefanic and Hart called it the most difficult hole they had ever drilled, because of the lives at stake.

"If you're drilling for oil and you lose the hole, it's different. This time there's people down below," Stefanic said. "We ruined some bits, worked through the problems as a team, and broke through," Hart said. "I'm very happy now."

Miners' relatives crowded around Hart on Saturday, hugging and posing for pictures with him as he walked down from the rescue operation into the tent camp where families had anxiously followed his work.

"He's become the hero of the day," said Dayana Olivares, whose friend Carlos Bugueno is one of the miners stuck below.

In a different day and age, Jeff Hart would be the most famous American in our country right now. He would be honored at the White House. Schoolchildren would learn of his skill and heroism. But because Jeff Hart works in an industry currently being demonized by (insert name for the clowns currently running
our country) more people in Chile will celebrate this symbol of American greatness than in America itself.

- Michelle Malkin

The Pet's Ten Commandments

Remember that they can't do a lot of things for themselves and that they depend on you to make their life a quality life!


1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years.
Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice, when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy, or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or, my heart might be getting old, or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them.

Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters

Now please pass this on to other pet owners.

We do not have to wait for Heaven, to be surrounded by hope, love, and joyfulness. It is here on earth and has four legs!

Wrong Court Ruled on Arizona Law

Not sure who wrote this . . . but it’s an interesting essay. We have an attorney or two of Facebook and some of our emails lists, perhaps they’d like to weigh in and offer an opinion. Pro bono, of course.

In a stunning development that could potentially send the nation into a Constitutional crisis, an astute attorney who is well-versed in Constitutional law states that the ruling against the State of Arizona by Judge Susan Bolton concerning its new immigration law is illegal.

The attorney in question submitted her assertion in a special article in the Canada Free Press. Her argument states in part, "Does anyone read the U.S. Constitution these days? American lawyers don’t read it. Federal Judge Susan R. Bolton apparently has never read it. Sam e goes for our illustrious Attorney General Eric Holder.

But this lawyer has read it and she is going to show you something in Our Constitution which is as plain as the nose on your face.

"Article III, Sec. 2, clause 2 says: "In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction."

In other words, the Judge in the Arizona case has absolutely no Constitutional jurisdiction over the matter upon which she ruled. As the Constitution makes abundantly clear, only the U.S. Supreme Court can issue rulings that involve a state. This means that neither Judge Bolton nor the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco , to which the case is being appealed, have any legal standing whatsoever to rule on the issue. Thus, U.S. Attorney-General Eric Holder filed the federal government's lawsuit against the state of Arizona in a court that has no authority to hear the case.

In a related development, another explosive discovery was made by those who actually take the Constitution seriously. The Constitution specifically allows an individual state to wage war against a neighboring country in the event of an invasion, should there be a dangerous delay or inaction on the part of the federal government.

From Article I, Section 10 of the U.S. Constitution, we find these words: No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay."

No one who is actually familiar with the crisis at the southern border can deny that Arizona is endangered by the relentless assault of lawless Mexican invaders who ignore our laws, inundate our schools and medical facilities with unpaid bills, and even endanger the very lives of citizens with criminal drug cartels that engage in kidnapping, murder, human trafficking, and other mayhem, including aiming missile and grenade launchers directly at U.S. border cities from just across the Mexican border. This is every bit as much of an invasion as the nation of Iran sending in a fleet of warships to the Port of Charleston .

The Constitution that forms the basis of the rule of law in this country says that Arizona has legal right to protect itself in the case of inaction or delay on the part of the federal government, including waging war in its self-defense.

This, when coupled with the clear Constitutional mandate that only the Supreme Court hear cases involving the states, should be ample legal basis for attorneys representing Arizona to go after the federal government with a vengeance.

Governor Jan Brewer and the stalwart members of the Arizona legislature have ample legal reason to stand firm against the illegal bullying of an arrogant, lawless federal government. And there are established procedures by which Federal Judge Susan R. Bolton can be removed from her position as a result of her violating her oath of office to uphold and defend the Constitution for the United States of America ..

The Ten Dollar Dog

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired..'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap.

The Party

There are parties . . . and then there are parties . . . but you ain’t been to a party till you’ve been to a Tim and Marie Cunning Party!

The Cunnings held an Oktoberfest party at their beautiful mansion Saturday evening. He has a huge outdoor cooking and serving area; complete with stainless steel barbecue oven, a fully stocked bar with about every type of wine and/or beer you could imagine. Of course, since it was Oktoberfest, guests brought along German Ales, Wines, and Beers.

Except lyle. Dear, sweet lyle brought a magnum of wine. A great big ol’ honkin’ bottle . . . but it was Chardonnay, which is decidedly not German. It is a huge bottle that we’ve had at the Madison Mansion for years . . . probably long before I arrived on the scene (and evelyn and I have been a couple for nearly 10 years). Evelyn said we shouldn’t take it because it was so old . . . maybe it wasn’t good anymore. I insisted we take it because (a) we drink very little and we would never drink it, even if we kept it for another 20 years, (b) it might be good, (c) if it was good, Tim, who throws a lot of parties, could put it to good use, and (d) if it wasn’t good, Tim could use it as vinegar for some of his tremendous salads. Tim added another element. If it wasn’t any good he and his son Andrew could always use the bottle as target practice.

In addition to the cooking and serving area, all of which is well lit, with plenty of comfortable bar chairs, there is also a large lounging area immediately in front of a huge outdoor fireplace, about 10 yards from the cooking and serving area . . . immediately in front of that lounging area is a beautiful swimming pool . . . then a vast expanse of immaculately trimmed yard . . . and the sun setting on the foothills just beyond the Cunning property . . . quite an exquisite view!

Several couples came all decked out in Lederhosen and other Germanic clothing. The food? Always the best when the Cunning stage a soiree. German potato salad, sauerkraut, red cabbage, pork chops, and huge and tasty bratwursts . . . all cooked to perfection. Tim oversees all the cooking at the Cunning Mansion. He is a perfectionist!

Party preparations don’t stop with food and drink, however. No, no, no. Mr. Cunning had gone out and gotten giant pumpkin decorations for the front yard to welcome guests, a couple of hay bales,more pumpkins, and just inside the door, a smiling skeleton, top hat and all, was there to greet you with a smile.

I’m not too much for going to parties . . . but whenever I hear the Cunnings are holding a party, I make myself readily available.

“So, Tim, having any parties this weekend?”

“Uh, yes, lyle, but it’s a children’s party, for the kids.”

“Great! I’ll be there!”

(Do you think I’m too pushy?)

The party started at 5pm, quite a civilized hour. Lots of great people, interesting folks, fascinating stories. Marie, as usual, all dolled up in the latest fashion, looking like a million bucks (before the recession). Tim, the mad, wild, red-haired Irishman, is all over the grounds, shaking paws with guests, checking periodically on the grill and the bar to make sure all are properly fed and watered . . . then taking only a few brief minutes to feed himself. Every now and then you know someone told a good joke because you can hear Tim’s unmistakable laugh . . . and you just know he’s gonna write it down and tell it at the next Kiwanis meeting.

Not that many of our Kiwanians showed up, though they were all invited. I couldn’t help but notice that only the most handsome, most beautiful, most intelligent, and most popular of our Kiwanians were the ones that showed up. Being particularly modest, I exempted myself from that list.

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday night. Oh, they did have a DUI checkpoint in Escondido Saturday night as well . . . but we figured this was more fun.

And it was.

The party having started at 5pm, a number of guests began to depart at about 9pm, including us. We are, after all, extremely elderly and fragile and had consumed two glasses of wine (which is binge drinking for me).

I remember thinking on the way home . . . “I should have swiped two or three of those bratwursts and hid them under my jacket. No one would have ever known!”

Kudos to Tim and Marie Cunning . . . party hosts extraordinaire!

Truck for Sale

A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, 'Where did you get that truck?!' He calmly told them, 'I bought it today.'

'With what money?' demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.

'Well,' said the boy, 'this one cost me just fifteen dollars.' So the parents began to yell even louder. 'Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?' they said.

'It was the lady up the street,' said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.'

'Oh my Goodness!,' moaned the mother, 'she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on.' So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.

'Well,' she said, 'this morning I got a phone call from my husband. (I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back).

He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money.

So I did.'

(Are women good or what?)

Great Parody

From Mark Evanier’s blog

Today's Video Link
In the late sixties/early seventies, there were comedic treats for those of us who lived in L.A. and were smart enough to find our respective ways to KRLA on the local radio dial. Today, that station is a mess of second-string Limbaugh wanna-bes but back then, it was a solid Top 40-style station that didn't limit itself to the Top 40. And in-between the hits, one could often hear comedic brilliance from a group called The Credibility Gap that produced little segments and drop-ins. The membership of the troupe changed from time to time but the four main guys I recall were Harry Shearer, Richard Beebe, David L. Lander and Michael McKean. They did very smart, funny comedy that is still being ripped-off now and then by others.

This is Shearer, McKean and Lander from a 1975 episode of Tom Snyder's Tomorrow Show with Shearer doing his spot-on impression of Mr. Snyder, which I always found superior to the Aykroyd version. The group disbanded soon after this, though they occasionally reassembled or worked together in other ways. McKean and Lander were Lenny and Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley, McKean and Shearer were members of Spinal Tap, etc. Here's a ten minute clip that shows you the kind of thing they were doing back then...

Saturday, October 23, 2010

An Aussie . . and his rotating house . . .

Here's an idea I like for Election Time

The Horse Whisperere

A local cowboy, Stan Kruml, has quite a fascinating video:

Going on a Police Raid

This is why I originally got into broadcasting, and later, the newspaper business!

The excitement, the fun, the adventure; facing a bit of potential danger, letting the adrenaline rush go to work and making one feel young again.

We received an invitation to accompany a police raid on seven different Escondido bars where ABC (Alcoholic Beverage Control) undercover investigations over the past six months had identified 13 individuals who had sold narcotics to the undercover cops. Ten of the individuals were employees, three were patrons. The suspects were scattered over the seven different bars. As it happened 14 individuals were arrested and there are others still being sought.

We met at 9pm at the Escondido Police Station for a briefing by good friend, Lieutenant Craig Carter, then, at 9:45, adjourned to our staging area at the Bank of America parking lot where about 12 other police cars, both marked and unmarked rallied. We re-introduced ourselves to Sgt. Dave Cramer, who led our group. It was important he knew we were media so he could guide us to the story areas and make sure one of the raiding cops didn’t slap cuffs on us.

Our group of cops was assigned to Pounders, a so-called sports bar that has had an unsavory reputation for some time as a hangout for bikers, as a source for illegal (and illegal prescription) drugs, and for occasional prostitution. A lot of the downtown businesses are not happy that Pounders is in business and located where they are . . . but unless and until they broke some law(s), very little could be done to get them out of the area. Possibly tonight’s action may result in a suspension or revocation of their ABC license, in which case they will likely slink out of town.

We were advised at the 9pm briefing that because they were bars that were being raided and there was alcohol and/or narcotics involved, there might also be weapons . . . so we needed to stay on our toes and be observant. With this announcement the adrenaline began to pump a bit. Adventure! The possibility of action!

All seven raids were to commence at precisely 10:15pm. At 10:13pm, we left the parking lot/staging area, for the approximate two block drive to our target, Pounders, located a t 125 W. Grand Avenue, right in the heart of downtown Escondido. We were instructed to be the last car in the caravan of about 12 police cars, to park our car, and to approach the site where Sgt. Cramer would be monitoring the situation and would clear us to enter the building when it was secure and safe. We were allowed to take photos from both outside and inside the building.

We were asked to only take rear shots of ABC and police personnel as many of them work undercover and it was important to not blow their cover. We respected that request.

The raid begins. All patrons are instructed to leave the premises; that they will be allowed back in with 30 minutes or so, that this is just a ‘routine ABC inspection.’ This is to keep the operation low key and not create potential problems with an estimated 60-75 patrons.

Both Evelyn and I were impressed with the military precision with which this operation was handled. All seven targets were hit at precisely 10:15, all police units returned to headquarters for a de-brief at 11pm.. Very, very efficient. In our case, very smooth, no problems at all with unruly patrons or staff.

I wish we had been assigned to one of the other targets, El Rodeo Bar, 425 North Rose Street. There, I learned later, there was a lot of action. El Rodeo, as the name suggests, is a bar largely patronized by Latinos. When the officers made entry they found a number of women walking around the bar area in either lingerie or no clothing at all; they discovered that several women were having sex in the back. Three arrests were made here and one woman was taken into custody for a parole violation.

Another reporter with the San Diego Union-Tribune said, . . . “this was an interesting raid. Men were fondling the women, very intimately, women were running around in sheer nighties, or with nothing at all. And sex in the back rooms was fairly common at this facility. Almost all of the women, as well as the patrons, were Latinos.’ Officers didn’t routinely check as to whether there were illegal immigrants in the place or not. That wasn’t the purpose of the raid. The purpose was to nail narcotics violators.

For those who live in or around the Escondido area, the bars hit were, in addition to Pounders and El Rodeo, Thee Spot, 945 West Valley Parkway, Club Anitas, 1320 East Valley Parkway, Senor Taquito, 1620 East Valley Parkway, Escondido Sports Pub, 1205 South Escondido Boulevard, and Woodies, 717 North Escondido Boulevard.

I’ve lived in Escondido since 1970, Evelyn since 1958. Neither of us have ever seen an operation this large, nor this well planned and executed. Those of us who have been in the military, or law enforcement, would have really appreciated how well these raids were coordinated and completed.

All suspects arrested face charges of sales and possession of illegal drugs. In addition. all seven bars face possible administrative action which could include suspension or revocation of their licenses to sell alcohol.

Just another typical evening for a couple of journalists who aren’t so young anymore, but still enjoy the thrill of covering an exciting story, and who admire outstanding law enforcement.

Forrest Gump Goest to Heaven

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven..
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself.
However, the gates are closed,
And Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
It is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you.
I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast,
And we have been administering
An entrance examination for everyone.
The test is short, but you have to
Pass it before you can get into Heaven.'

Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.
But nobody ever told me about any entrance
Exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.
Life was a big enough test
As it was.'

St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I
Know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.

What two days of the week
Begin with the letter T?

How many seconds are there in a year?

What is God's first name?'

Forrest leaves to think the questions over.
He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and
Says, 'Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
Tell me your answers.'

Forrest replied, 'Well, the
First one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?
Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.'

The Saint's eyes opened wide and
He exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do
Have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit
For that answer. How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.

'How many seconds in a year?
Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about
That, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'

Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve?
Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds
In a year?'

Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's
Got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '

'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.
'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
Though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give
You credit for that one, too.
Let us go on with the third and final question.
Can you tell me God's first name'?

'Sure,' Forrest replied,
'it's Andy.'

'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated
And frustrated St Peter.

'Ok, I can understand how you
Came up with your answers to my first two questions,
But just how in the
World did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'

'Shucks, that was the easiest
One of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song,

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates,
And said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'


A young Law student, having failed one of his Law exams, goes up to his
crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a
professor, would I?"

Student: "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give me the
correct answer, I will accept my marks as it is. If you can't give me
the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A".

Professor: "Hmmmm, alright. So what's the question?"

Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and
neither logical nor legal?"

The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer.

Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "A"
as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all
afternoon, but still can't get the answer. So finally he calls in a
group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really
tough question to answer: "What is legal but not logical, logical but
not legal, and neither logical nor legal?"

To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment), all the students
immediately raise their hands.

All right" says the professor and asks his favorite student to

“It's quite easy, sir" says the student "You see, you are 75 years old
and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical.
Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And
your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A,"
which is neither legal, nor logical."

Dragster Acceleration Factoids

I’m not much into auto racing of any kind. Actually bores me. But I found these states interesting.


- One top fuel dragster 500 cubic inch Hemi engine makes more horsepower than the first 4 rows of stock cars at the Daytona 500.

- It takes just 15/100ths of a second for all 6,000+ horsepower of an NHRA Top Fuel dragster engine to reach the rear wheels.

- Under full throttle, a dragster engine consumes 1-1/2 gallons of nitro methane per second; a fully loaded 747 consumes jet fuel at the same rate with 25% less energy being produced.

- A stock Dodge Hemi V8 engine cannot produce enough power to drive the dragster's supercharger.

- With 3,000 CFM of air being rammed in by the supercharger on overdrive, the fuel mixture is compressed into a near-solid form before ignition.

- Cylinders run on the verge of hydraulic lock at full throttle.

- At the stoichiometric (stoichiometry: methodology and technology by which quantities of reactants and products in chemical reactions are determined) 1.7:1 air/fuel mixture of nitro methane, the flame front temperature measures 7,050 deg F.

- Nitro methane burns yellow. The spectacular white flame seen above the stacks at night is raw burning hydrogen, dissociated from atmospheric water vapor by the searing exhaust gases.

- Spark plug electrodes are totally consumed during a pass. After halfway, the engine is dieseling from compression, plus the glow of exhaust valves at 1,400 deg F. The engine can only be shut down by cutting the fuel flow.

- If spark plug momentarily fails early in the run, unburned nitro builds up in the affected cylinders and then explodes with sufficient force to blow cylinder heads off the block in pieces or split the block in half.

- In order to exceed 300 mph in 4. 5 seconds, dragsters must accelerate an average of over 4G's. In order to reach 200 mph (well before half-track), the launch acceleration approaches 8G's.

- Dragsters reach over 300 miles per hour before you have completed reading this sentence.

- Top fuel engines turn approximately 540 revolutions from light to light!

- Including the burnout, the engine must only survive 900 revolutions under load..

- The redline is actually quite high at 9,500 rpm.

- Assuming all the equipment is paid off, the crew worked for free, and for once NOTHING BLOWS UP, each run costs an estimate $1,000.00 per second.

- The current top fuel dragster elapsed time record is 4.428 seconds for the quarter mile (11/12/06, Tony Schumacher, at Pomona , CA ). The top speed record is 336.15 mph as measured over the last 66' of the run (05/25/05 Tony Schumacher, at Hebron , OH ).

Putting all of this into perspective:

You are driving the average $140,000 Lingenfelter 'twin-turbo' powered Corvette Z06.

Over a mile up the road, a top fuel dragster is staged and ready to launch down a quarter mile strip as you pass. You have the advantage of a flying start.

You run the 'Vette hard up through the gears and blast across the starting line and pass the dragster at an honest 200 mph.

The 'tree' goes green for both of you at that moment.

The dragster launches and starts after you.

You keep your foot down hard, but you hear an incredibly brutal whine that sears your eardrums and within 3 seconds, the dragster catches and passes you.

He beats you to the finish line, a quarter mile away from where you just passed him.

Think about it, from a standing start, the dragster had spotted you 200 mph and not only caught, but nearly blasted you off the road when he passed you within a mere 1,320 foot long race course.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Air Force 1 on 9/11

A fascinating account. Long, but well worth your time, from the pilot of Air Force 1:

Thinking Charity? Think Again!

Charities that thank you for your donation

Keep these facts in mind when "donating". As you open your pocket for yet another natural disaster, keep the following facts in mind; we have listed them from the highest (worse paid offender) to the lowest (least paid offender).

The worst offender was yet again for the 11th year in a row is, UNICEF - CEO, receives $1,200,000 per year, (plus use of a Royal Royce for his exclusive use where ever he goes, and an expense account that is rumoured to be well over $150,000.) Only pennies from the actual donations goes to the UNICEF cause (less than $0.14 per dollar of income).

The second worst offender this year is Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of the American Red Cross...for her salary for the year ending in 2009 was $651,957 plus expenses. Enjoys 6 weeks - fully paid holidays including all related expenses during the holiday trip for her and her husband and kids. including 100% fully paid health & dental plan for her and her family, for life. This means out of every dollar they bring in, about $0.39 goes to related charity causes.

The third worst offender was again for the 7th time was, Brian Gallagher, President of the United Way receives a $375,000 base salary (U.S. funds), plus so many numerous expense benefits it's hard to keep track as to what it is all worth, including a fully paid lifetime membership for 2 golf courses (1 in Canada, and 1 in the U.S.A.), 2 luxury vehicles, a yacht club membership,
3 major company gold credit cards for his personal expenses...and so on. This equates to about $0.51 per dollar of income goes to charity causes.

Fourth worst offender who was also again in the fourth spot, for every year since this information has been made available from the start 1998 is amazingly yet again, World Vision President (Canada) receives $300,000 base salary, (plus supplied - a home valued in the $700,000 - $800,000 dollar value range, completely furnished, completely paid all housing expenses, including taxes, water/sewer, telephone/fax, HD/high speed cable, weekly maid service and pool/yard maintenance, fully paid private schooling for his children, upscale automobile and an $55,000 personal
expense account for clothing/food, with a $125,000 business expense account). Get this, because it is a "religious based" charity, it pays, little to no taxes, can receive government assistance and does not have to declare were the money goes. Only about $0.52 of earned income per dollar is available for charity causes.

Of the sixty some odd "charities" we looked at, the lowest paid (President/C.E.O/Commissioner) was heading up a charity group right here in Canada. We found, believe it or not, it was......

Ready for this...

I think you might be surprised...

It is, none other than...

The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 Billion dollar organization. Which means about $0.93 per dollar earned, is readily available and goes back out to local charity causes...truly amazing...and well done "Sally Anne"

No further comment is necessary..."Think Twice" before you give to your charity of choice as to which one really does the best for the
most - or the least for the most, for that matter.

Note from Lyle: Actually, I was not surprised. All of the above information we had verified in several cover stories we have done in prior years. Ever since we published these articles, my donated funds have gone to the Salvation Army.

Proposition 19

Don’t know if I’ve commented on this or not . . . but there’s a Proposition on the ballot this year that would legalize the sale of marijuana.

I was prepared to endorse it as I have less of a problem with marijuana being legalized than I do with alcohol being legal.

I don’t think marijuana is nearly as dangerous as alcohol.

However, I went to a debate on the proposition, staged by the Escondido Rotary Club. After hearing the pro/con arguments, I came away from that debate deciding to oppose Proposition 19. Why the change of heart?

One primary reason.

There are a number of corporations that have a zero tolerance policy for drugs in the workplace. Under this law, if passed, if an employee tested positive for THC, s/he would have to be fired. No matter that they had used marijuana at home, on vacation, wherever, on their own time. THC stays within your system for 30 days, hair follicles retain it longer. So, if tested, one could be fired for something they did two weeks ago . . . on their own time.

That ain’t fair.

So I’m opposing Proposition 19.

If they rewrite the proposed legislation to eliminate that quirk, I will probably support it.

Confession: I’ve used marijuana. Not recently, but about 20 years ago, while working at KFMB Radio in San Diego, we experimented with grass. Enjoyed it. Glad I tried it. I know what it is and it’s not something to be feared. After about six months, I stopped smoking it. Haven’t smoked it since. Have no need nor desire to do so.

And, yes, I did inhale.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Slow Learner

It has happened again.

I had laid down for a brief nap this evening; Trixie came in and laid down beside me. Just me and old Trixie. A man and his dog. Peaceful. Contented time.

While napping, I took my hearing aid out and placed it on the night stand.

After awhile I got up and took Trixie for her walkies. We came back in and I went into the office to work.

About an hour later, Evelyn comes home from her sorority meeting and gets ready for bed.

She then walks into my office and says, “I think you’d better come into the bedroom.”

I knew instantly what had happened.

“Oh, no! Not my other hearing aid!”

We walked into the bedroom and sure enough, there it was, laying in pieces on my bed.

She had gotten up on the night stand, again, and gotten something interesting to chew on.

$4400 in hearing aids! Destroyed!

Did I discipline her?

Hell no. She would have had no idea what I was disciplining her for. The dastardly deed had probably happened a half hour before Evelyn discovered it. Maybe more.

Mr. Davis is a slow learner. I had been putting the hearing aid in the drawer at night just to prevent this very thing from happening. Tonight, I forgot. It cost me.

Big time.

If I didn’t love that doggone pup so much I’d give her back to Tim Cunning, the mad, wild eyed, red headed and bearded Irishman who gave her to us.

Hope your day has gone well.


Def Lyle

The Horse's Friend

Stan Kruml if a friend of mine . . . emails me quite often; put son Cowboy Poetry Shows, which I knew about, but I didn’t know about how extensive his cowboy background was, nor of his Hollywood career, or his terrible, fiery accident.

I also didn’t know he knew so much about horses.

Here is a fascinating video that I think you’ll enjoy. I sure did.

Useful dog tricks

One day, on a train in France . . .

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length
looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French
woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle.
The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was
under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down?
I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog,
tossed it out the train window and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone defend me! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up. "Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir,
you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.