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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

This must be true. It comes from an FBI agent:

Hello honest people.........
We got your contact from our Microsoft data-base system.
This is to inform you all that have lost money to Scammers in Africa, Europe and USA. We hear by inform you there is quick opportunity for you mostly on lottery. My name is FBI brad Martins I assure you am doing all I can to get your lost money back in 2 days . I know what scam means. I work with the global scam Fither in CA 93535.we have all the global scam computer to trace all Scammers Name and location. Reply back to us. We just caught a scammer now, and we found some money with him, we are returning it back to those involves.
This mean your money will be refund back to you.
Get back to the FBI through this email for immediate response

Sunday, March 28, 2010

On the street interview . . .

Workin' on a salt mine . . .

My Waffly Wedded Wife . . .

This is funny! They paid a lot for the videographers and they did a great job! Look at the clarity and the reactions they caught. This couple is going to cherish this video forever. If the bride's laugh doesn't start you laughing, you’ve lost your funny bone.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Johnny Carson as Ronald Reagan

Female Drivers

Read Below Before Watching attached clip:
This video was taken from inside the cockpit of an A-10 by the pilot. It was a night view. What you see is from 9700 feet away (almost two miles). Four insurgents are walking along a street with no clue that someone is watching them...from almost 2 miles away. The A-10 fired a 30 mm cannon WITHOUT injuring the dog nearby who escaped unharmed. You can see the gun camera shake a bit as the pilot fires; then count about 4 seconds for the rounds to travel 2 miles. Every tenth round is a tracer, so the bullets you actually see are every tenth; they are getting hit with hundreds of rounds, but the dog is unscathed. Muzzle velocity on the 30mm cannon is 2430 feet per second. The result is that these four guys won't be terrorizing anybody anymore! The dog, in the upper right, safely gets out of the way.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

I Did It My Way - A Salute to Sinatra

Grandma versus Grandpa

Have you ever wondered what the difference between

Grandmothers and Grandfathers is? Well here it is:

A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in thecar for some bonding time -- just him and his granddaughter. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her Grandfather.

'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?'

'Oh yes, Papa' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see

a single asshole, dumb bastard, dip shit or horse's ass anywhere we went today!'

Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

The Correct Way to Handle a Terrorist

Correct way to deal with a bank robber!

I just love the way the police in Spain deal with this guy! If this happened in the U..S. the cops would all be suspended and fired. the bank robber would get a new motorcycle, a $5,000,000 compensation, and an apology from the president. This incident took place in Spain. Apparently the Spanish police agreed to placate a 'bank hostage' situation by allowing the radical to 'escape' uninhibited. He was allowed to walk out of the bank in the company of 2 hostages. The police provided him with a motorcycle and free access to the motorcycle. Then, leaving the hostages behind, he was permitted to ride away down a clear roadway to make his 'escape.' This whole incident, shown on CBS television, complete with news reporting in English, can be seen on this 55-second video clip. The concluding few seconds of this video shows the result of the Spanish planning.

An Amish Centerfold

The Booze Tree

You don't have to speak French; just watch the video:

Super Granny

Saturday, March 20, 2010

A Lovely new poem . . .

A New Poem
I wish I´d looked after me tits
By Pam Ayres
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits..

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Registered Sex Offender

I just did a quick search on the San Diego County Sheriff's Office register of sex offenders.
There are 482 registered sex offenders in North San Diego County. That takes in the city in which I live, Escondido, also Valley Center, San Marcos, Vista, Carlsbad and Oceanside.
One has to wonder, if we have 482 perverst we know about . . . how many are out there we don't know about?
I urge everyone to check your local law enforcement's list of registered sex offenders. Most of them have it posted online. It's a law in California; the public has to have access to this information. Hopefully, it is also required in other jurisdictions.
You can find out how many of these creeps live in your neighborhood. Most registers show photographs of them so you know what they look like. You, your wife, kids or loved ones should know who to look out for. By law, you cannot harrass them . . but you sure can look out for them. And avoid them.
A word to the wise and all that . . . .

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Search and Rescue

Amazing, the information one finds when one goes looking . . .
As a result of the tragic events in our little corner of the world (two young girls abducted and murdered, at least one, probably both, raped before being killed) we have come together as a community to make things better.
I mentioned in an earlier email about this Saturday's brush clearing of the hiking trails at Kit Carson Park, in which our Kiwanis Clubs are playing a major role; also the Self Defense Class for Women one of our Kiwanians is conducting.
While I was making the presentation to the Escondido Kiwanis Club (the noon club) to determine whether they would join us in this effort (the answer was an enthusiastic "yes!") one of their Kiwanians brought up a suggestion that both Kiwanis Clubs should perhaps form a Search and Rescue Unit to help out during incidents like this. I promised him I'd check into it and report back.
Well, I have. And here's the report:
Unless you are prepared to commit six months of attending classs two nights a week and at least one day during the weekend . . . it ain't gonna fly. To be certified for Search and Rescue you really need intensive training.
My source, whom I know very well and trust implicitly, told me the best thing for those of us interested would be to take a CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) course. This also requires training but not nearly the extent of time and commitment that Search and Rescue requires.
But, what I also found, that surprised the hell out of me . . . is that when these hundreds, sometimes thousands of people respond to hunt for a missing person . . . they are not allowed to search in the prime areas. The police and Search and Rescue teams not only will not allow them into the prime search area, they do not want them there.
They're not trained. They're very likely to destroy a crime scene and ruin clues.
You'll see couples holding hands and walking through a field, another youngster skipping along, looking here and there . . . and they are nowhere close to finding anything. That's because the police and Search and Rescue teams direct them elsewhere.
It's window dressing. It gives people something to do to make them feel better, to make them think they are committig to a community good.
It's all a sad farce.
"They won't turn over a rock, they won't move leaves gently, to see if there's any traces of a clue, they'll just generally muck things up. They don't know how to recognize tracks or have any tracking skills; they will likely destroy footprints or tire prints. They, literally, don't know what they are doing and could well cause way more harm than good," he said.
The prime search area is roped or ribboned off and no one, not even the media, is allowed in.
When you think about it . . . it makes sense.
I just never realized it.


Well, she's gone.
She left quietly. We think, without pain.
I was having a nap; Evelyn was either proofing the paper or doing something in the kitchen when Monty, Evelyn's oldest son said, "Mom, I think you might wanna check Missy. I think she's gone."
She was.
She lay there in an easy chair, snuggled into a bath towel Evelyn had wrapped her in to keep her warm.
She just slipped away quietly, the same way you or I would like to go.
I walked past her several times before Evelyn asked me if I heard what she said. "No," I said. "What did you say?"
"Missy's gone." And I saw the tears well up in her eyes. But, in a way, they were tears of relief as well as sadness. She had an old friend leave, but an old friend who was ready to go.
I turned and looked at Missy, bent down to pet her and noted that rigor had already set in. She must have been gone for at least an hour before I was aware of it.
We left her there, in the easy chair. We'll bury her first thing in the morning.
Not a lot of sadness here. Evelyn and I had both said several times that we wished Missy would just fall asleep and not wake up. We did not want to have to put her down unless absolutely necessary.
Earlier, I had come out of my office with the printout of the paper, ready for Evelyn to proof it. I could see that Missy was very comfortable, staying nice and warm, being held, in a warm towel, by Evelyn.
"Forget the proofing of the paper," I said. "It can wait. Now is Missy's time. She needs you more than the paper."
And that's pretty much what Evelyn did. After about an hour, Evelyn put Missy down in her favorite easy chair, still wrapped in her nice warm towel.
And she just fell asleep.

I ain't this stupid . . .

Don Corleone, introduced by Don Imus

Monday, March 1, 2010

How stupid to you have to be to do this?

Wrong number

A classic!

Solider coming home!

This short 30 second video is wonderful! Doggies are really humans, you know! Sometimes perhaps even better! This soldier returns from Afghanistan to the heartfelt welcome from his dog.

Obama's New Army