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Monday, May 30, 2011

Zen Test for Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

3. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

6. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

7. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

8. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

9. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

10. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

11. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

12. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...

15. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

18. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

19. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

20. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

21. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

22. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

23. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

24. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

25. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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