Golf and Whisky...
An 80-year-old Scotsman went to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor was amazed at what good shape the old fellow was in and asked:
'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'
'I am Scottish and I am a golfer,' said the old fellow: 'and that is why I
am in such good shape. I am up well before daylight and out golfing up
and down the fairways. I have a wee glass of whisky, and that's it.'
'Well,' said the doctor, 'I am sure that helps, but there has to be more
to it. How old was your Dad when he died?'
'Who said my Dad died?'
The doctor was amazed.
'You mean you are 80 years old and your Dad is still alive.
How old is he?'
He is 100 years old,' said the old Scottish golfer. 'In fact he golfed
wi' me this mornin', and then we went to the topless beach for a walk
and had anither wee dram and that is why he is still alive.
He is a Scot and he is a golfer, too.'
'Well,' the doctor said, 'that is great, but I am sure there is more to it
than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?'
'Who said my Grandad is dead?'
Stunned, the doctor asked, 'You mean you are 80 years old and your
grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?'
'He is 118 years old,' said the old Scottish golfer.
The doctor was getting frustrated at this point:
'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'
'No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin' because he is getting married today.'
At this point the doctor was close to losing it. 'Getting married!
Why would a 118 year-old Scotsman want to get married?'
'Who said he wanted to?'