It's the game of the season! The Hattie B. Monroe Home for Crippled Seniors versus the San Diego Chargers!
The Chargers are three point favorites by most sports pundits, because of their great kicking game.
Philip Rivers is likely to throw for 450 yards with a 95% completion rate . . . however, and it's a big however, because the Hattie B. Monroe Home for Crippled Seniors is known for their great run back skills and Special Teams Blocking and the Chargers are not, expect a number of touchdowns scored by the Hattie B. Monroe Cripples.
There's a reasonable chance that "The Mighty Motrin" group will mow right through the Charger Special Teams Unit. Thus, every time the Chargers score a field goal (a touchdown is unlikely) "The Mighty Motrin" group is more likely to score a touchdown. Highly paid mathematicians have determined that seven points is approximately four more points than three. Thus the end result is more likely a victory for the Hattie B. Monroe Home for Crippled Seniors than the San Diego Chargers.
Senior sports fans across the nation are on the edge of their Porta-Potties, just waiting for the game to begin. A resounding 'thump, thump, thump,' created by the repeated pounding of canes and walkers on the stadium floor by partisan seniors, is likely to distract the San Diego Chargers during Philip Rivers' signal count. As a result, look for many "illegal motion" penalties, not to mention fumbles, in which the Chargers excel in committing.
My prediction: Hattie B. Monroe Home for Crippled Seniors 35
(all via kickoff and/or punt runbacks)
San Diego Chargers 21 (all via field goals)
Bonus Coverage: Be sure not to miss the cheerleading squad for the Hattie B. Monroe Home for Crippled Seniors, "The HBM Biddies!" These gals will amaze you with their splits. They don't even need to leave their wheel chairs to do them. And in unison!
They can wheeze the Hattie B. Monroe Fight Song throughout the whole game, pausing only for occasional fresh shots of oxygen from their portable oxygen tanks.
Plans are underway for a full color calendar with these lovely, but ancient, sirens. Stay tuned.