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Thursday, June 3, 2010

Jewish Lonely Hearts Ads . . .

Jewish businessman, 49. Manufactures Shabbos candles, Chanukah candles,
Havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Would like to light your candle.
Seeks non-smoker.

Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good.

Eighty-year-old bubbe, no assets, seeks handsome, virile, Jewish male,
under 35. Object: matrimony. I can dream, can't I?

I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to share
your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets. Confide in me. I'll
understand your insecurities. No fatties, please.

Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing, track
and field. Has slight limp.

Jewish princess, 28. Seeks successful businessman of any major Jewish
denomination: hundreds, fifties, twenties.

Desperately seeking schmoozing! Retired senior citizen desires female
companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing. Under 30 is also

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