There was a fair maiden of Exeter,
So pretty that guys craned their necks at her.
One was even so brave
as to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at her.
There was a young girl from Rabat
Who had triplets: Nan, Pat, and Tat.
It was fun in the breeding,
but hell in the feeding,
as she found she had no tit for Tat.
There once was a plumber from Lea
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea
She said "Stop your plumbing
I think someones coming"
Said the plumber, still plumbing "It's me"
The sea captain's tender young bride
Fell into the bay at low tide,
You could tell by her squeals,
That some of the eels
Had discovered a dark place to hide.
The 80-year-old accused of rape was Mort,
The judge did his best, as he ought.
But the jury was sympathetic,
Coz Mort was old and pathetic,
And the evidence wouldn't stand up in court.