Y'see, there's this rather nice chap, Tim Cunning. Has a beautiful wife, Marie, and two super neat kids.
They live on this modest estate of about 50 acres, with magnificent views of the hills (some would call them mountains but I'm much too sophisticated for that) that surround their estate; they even have a good view of the San Diego Wild Animal Park.
This Cunning chap, well, he is quite a cook and loves to throw parties. When Tim and Marie throw a party . . . they really throw a party!
It was an "everyone bring potluck party," anything except Corned Beef and Cabbage. Timothy, fine lad that he is, would provide that. We were also to bring a gift to be auctioned off as a fund raiser for our Hidden Valley Kiwanis Club.
In addition to the lovely food items, there was bottle after bottle of wine, and fine (or foine, as we Irish say) beers. I had one glass of wine and one Guiness Stout. That's my limit. Any more than that and I get fightin' mad, dontcha know, and I go looking for an Irish person to give a thumpin' to. And me with only one arm (me right arm is no use at all in a Donnybrook as it is frozen up from the arthritis), well, I'm not much with only a left jab and a left hook at my command. It's best if I do find an Irish person to give a thumpin' to that it be a foine Irish lassie, no a laddie. Even at that, Irish colleens have been known to dispatch more than few gents. All the more reason for me to watch the consumption of spirits and not go off after Irish targets. Or any others, for that matter.
Well sir, we were sitting by Tim's foine outdoor fireplace, enjoying the lovely fragrance of freshly burning wood, and keeping nice and warm from the chill night air. This was one night I was glad to have worn long trousers instead of my customary tennis shorts and sandals (which is formal wear as far as I'm concerned). The Corned Beef was superb, as were the honey glazed carrots that Ms. Evelyn had prepared. Lovely Brownies . . . some great cheeses, and super companionship. A grand, grand evening on the beautiful Cunning Estate.
Luke, the Doberman Pinscher owned by the Cunning family, took a liking to me. Chiefly because I had a plate in my hand. Dogs can spot me right off as a soft touch and, sure enough, I began to slip slices of Corned Beef to Luke. He wanted more so I gave him some of my cabbage. I had eaten my fill by then and decided cabbage was probably good for a dog.
And then it struck me.
Would it not be a good laugh if I gave Luke more and more cabbage? Timothy had told me that, from time to time, Luke would enter their bedroom in the wee hours of the morning and relieve himself of gastrointestinal pressures. Sure and it would wake Timothy up and he would visit with Luke, earnestly, as they say.
I decided it was the least I could do to repay Timothy for his kindness in sharing his estate and its many food and drink items with us, to be equally kind to Luke, his ever loyal, obedient, and hungry dog.
I fed Luke.
Lots of cabbage.
If you ever get an invitation to attend one of Tim Cunning's parties, jump at the chance. He's the perfect host, a great cook, has a beautiful home, both inside and out, giant outdoor bar with stainless steel stoves, refrigeration, pouring stations, superb sound system and music (though I'll be needing to talk to Mr. Timothy about his taste in and choice of music). There's a lovely backyard pool and spa, neither of which were used this cool, cool, (actually cold) evening. My hands were, in fact, cold. A large grassy area for kids to play upon . . .beautiful landscaping, and beautiful views. The inside of the home is as though royalty had designed it. Marie Cunning is, after all, one of North San Diego County's top interior designers.
But if you do get an invite and if you do attend . . . always remember to feed Luke.
Lots of cabbage.
(Thanks to Tim and Marie for a great party and a superb fund raiser for the Hidden Valley Kiwanis Club. As usual, there was no tariff. Just bring yourself, a loved one, a potluck dish, and a gift for auction. Kinda neat!)