I have a fun gal pal in Los Angeles. Clever mind and wit. See below:
This firm has been retained as lawyers for Ms. Trixie Madison-Davis to defend against your malicious slur on her good character.
Ms. Trixie points out that you did not see her "munching" the hearing aid you are claiming she broke. She maintains she had nothing to do with any damage whatsoever. She also states that there are many other animal and human entities in the home, namely several cats who have criminal pasts, and yourself, who has been known to walk in your sleep and do weird things. Ms. Trixie believes it is quite plausible that you broke your own hearing aid so that you will not have to hear Ms. Madison's requests that you take out the garbage and perform other human tasks. Further we must insist that you send the hearing aid out for DNA tests before you make any allegations against our client.
Ms. Trixie adds that you have already maliciously blamed her in the past for hearing aid perfidy. And yet, you did not protect the hearing aids, but left them where any human or animal or ghostly apparition can play, eat or otherwise ruin them.
So you are herewith demanded to stop complaining about Ms. Trixie and start taking her for longer walks and buying her more toys so she doesn't have to contend with your stinky sandals and can live in the harmony a pooch of her immensely good looks and sweet personality deserves.
Thank you, Ms. DK
PS, How do you like that Hyundai? I'm thinking of going there for my next car...
(Evelyn LOVES the Hyundai! And I love giving her a hard time about it).