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Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Cold is a relative thing...

Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Minnesota sunbathe.

Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down..


Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.


New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

10° below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

20° below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? Nah.).
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.

30° below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.


ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold enough for ya?"

Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

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