Cold

Cold is a relative thing...

65°
Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Minnesota plant gardens.

60°
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Minnesota sunbathe.

50°
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Minnesota drive with the windows down..

40°

Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

35°

New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20°
People in Miami all die.
Minnesotans close the windows.

0°

Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.


10° below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

20° below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? Nah.).
People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.


30° below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.


-40°

ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold enough for ya?"


-50°
Hell freezes over.
Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.