On Beer . . .

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. --Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. --Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer. --Plato

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.--W.C. Fields

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.--David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.--Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.--Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.--Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.--Humphrey Bogart

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. --Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. --Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.--Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. --Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.--George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.--Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. --For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. --Dean Martin

All right, brain; I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.--Homer Simpson