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Sunday, December 19, 2010

A Potpourri of Chuckles

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: Were you helping him look for it?”

Student: No, I was standing on it.!

As my husband, the county highway commissioner, was driving to the hospital for treatment of his painful leg, he decided to use the valet parking service so he wouldn’t have to walk far. Staring at his official looking vehicle, one of the valets asked my husband if he was driving a government car.

“why yes,’ my husband replied, surprised by the question. “In fact, its an unmarked police car.”

“Wow!” the young man said, sliding behind the wheel. “This will be the first time I’ve been in the front set!”

Cathy: I have the perfect son

Betty: Does he smoke?

Cathy: No, he doesn’t

Betty: Does he drink whiskey?

Cathy: No, he doesn’t

Betty: Does he ever come home late?

Cathy: No, he doesn’t

Betty, “I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?”

Cathy: “He will be six months old next Wednesday.”

There’s an old sea story in the Navy about a ship’s captain who inspected his sailors and afterward, told the chief boatswain that his men smelled bad. The captain suggested perhaps it would help, if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The chief responded, ‘Aye, aye, sir, I’ll see to it immediately!”

The chief went straight to the sailor’s berth deck and announced,”The captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear” He continued, “Pittman, you change with Jones; McCarthy, you change with Witkowski; and Brown, you change with Schultz. Now GET TO IT!!”

The Moral of the story is:

Someone may come along and promise “Change,” but don’t count on things smelling any better.

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