The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my
head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb...and I'm also not blonde.
If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man-if you want anything done, ask a woman.
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.