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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Guilt Trip

Can’t shake this guilty feeling.

Kinda feel like I betrayed Trixie. She trusted us yesterday, both evelyn and me, when we handed her over to the vet.

We picked her up last night about 4pm and the poor soul was so weak and bleary eyed it just broke my heart.

I know it’s the right thing to do, to spay or neuter an animal . . . but it still hurts to see them go through a surgical procedure

I had considered having her bred and having one litter before we had her spayed. Seemed to me to be the natural order of things. But, I know me. And I know what a soft hearted (but stubborn) old Norwegian I am. When the pups were weaned and it was time to hand them over to new owners – I probably wouldn’t be able to do it. I would have gotten way too emotionally attached to them.

I thought evelyn had brought her in from her cage and put her in bed with us. Nope. The little tyke had jumped up on the bed by herself . . . which surprised both of us. Neither of us thought she’d be strong enough to do that, and with the stitches, we thought she’d be in too much pain.

Tried to take her out to go tinkle at about 3:30am. No soap. She wanted to go back in the house.

We all managed to get back to sleep, about an hour later.

Just now got back from taking her out a second time. She did go tinkle. Naturally, we praised the dickens out of her . . . and gave her a number of treats.

She’s still a bit wobbly, but gaining strength. By tomorrow I reckon she’ll be back close to her original self and jumping up, begging me to take her walkies.

I have fallen totally in love with this little girl. I guess that’s why I feel so guilty, like I betrayed her. Evelyn feels the same way. We are both devoted to this little tyke.

Enough. Time to go to work.

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