Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.'
'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month,
but not enough to live on!'
A wife went in to see a therapist and said,'I've got a big problem,
doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
He lets out this ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is.'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and
asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session,
'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'
A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was
mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him
that modern medicine could give him back his manhood,
but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it
was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small,
$6,500 for 'medium, and $14,000 for 'large.'
The man was sure he would want a medium or large,
but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife
before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained
The doctor came back into the room, and found the
man looking dejected.
'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.
'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'
One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from
Bunco and found her 92 year-old husband in bed with
another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the
balcony of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment,
killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on the charge of murder,
the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor. I figured that at 92,
if he could have sex... He could also fly.'