It's harder to tell navy from black.
Your kids are becoming you and you don't like them! But your grandchildren are perfect.
Yellow becomes THE color of skin -- hair -- teeth.
Going out is good. Coming home is better.
When people say you look "Great", they add "for your age".
You forget names. It's okay because other people forgot they even knew you.
The last two outfits you wore had spots on them.
You ask your spouse or friend how your outfit looks and they tell you the truth.
The five pounds you wanted to lose is now 15. You have a better chance of losing your keys than the pounds.
You realize you're never going to be really good at anything...especially playing the piano or golf.
Your spouse is counting on you to remember the things you don't remember.
The things you cared to do, you don't care to do now. You do not care that you don't care to do them anymore.
Your spouse sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called the "pre-sleep".
Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident?" Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident.
You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married. Now you say, "I hope they STAY married!"
The best place to have a conversation with your spouse is in the bathroom. You have their full attention.
Who wants to wear three or four inch heels anyway?
You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.
You use more four letter words - what? when?
Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
Your husband has a night out with the guys but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.
Notice everything they sell in stores is sleeveless.
Many of the people in People Magazine you've never heard of.
Your concealer doesn't conceal.
Your lipstick bleeds.
Your mascara clumps and your eyebrows are disappearing.
You don't have hair under your arms and very little on your legs but your chin needs to be plucked weekly.
What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
Now that your spouse has retired, you'd give anything if they would find a job.
You have three sizes of clothes in your closet two of which you will never wear.
But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies and best of all OLD FRIENDS. Thanks for being one of mine!