~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them
...but your grandchildren are perfect!
~Going out is good.
Coming home is better!
~When people say you look "Great"...
They add "for your age!"
~When you needed the discount you had to pay full price.
Now you get discounts on everything like..
Movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.
~You forget names ... But it's OK
Because other people forgot
They even knew you!!!
~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose
Is now 15 and you have a better chance
Of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
~Your husband is counting on you
To remember things you don't remember.
~The things you used to care to do,
You no longer care to do,
But you really do care that you
Don't care to do them anymore.
~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair
With the TV blaring than he does in bed.
It's called his "pre-sleep".
~Remember when your mother said
"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?
Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
~You used to say,
"I hope my kids GET married ..
Now you say, "I hope they STAY married!"
~You miss the days when everything worked
With just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ...
Were unheard of, and a mouse was something
That made you climb on a table.
~Now that you can afford
Expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.
~Your husband has a night out with the guys
But he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.