Woody Allen Quotes

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads.
One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total
extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep
better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case,
I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's
worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently
there must be a beverage.

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises
some pretty good questions.

Don't knock masturbation --- it's sex with someone I love.

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

I am at two with nature.

Once while we were making love, a curious optical illusion occurred, and it almost looked as though she were moving.