Saturday afternoon, I was sitting on my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
Amanda from next door was so upset at this that she came over and shouted "you're useless!" I took a slug from my bottle of Corona, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses, stared directly at this nosey woman and calmly replied, "I am, that's why she cuts the grass."
After a few days I felt really bad so I went and bought my wife a riding mower to show my sensitive side. I am so proud of the deal I got, I have attached a picture.
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