Dead Penguins

Did you ever wonder why you never see dead penguins?


Wonder no more!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family. It mates for life, and maintains a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow;" "Freeze a jolly good fellow."

Then they kick him in the ice hole.

(You didn't really think I knew anything about penguins, did you?)