How to get to Heaven from Ireland

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if
they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them,

'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all
my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

' NO!' the children answered.

' If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept
everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

Again, the answer was 'NO!'

By now I was starting to smile. 'Well, then, if I was kind to animals
and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would
that get me into heaven?

Again, they all answered 'NO!'.

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, ' Then how can
I get into heaven?'

A six year-old boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FOOK'N DEAD..."

It's a curious race, the Irish.