The Economy is so bad that . . .

· I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

· African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child'
commercials!

· I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked,
"Can you afford fries with that?"

· CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

· Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

· my ATM gave me an IOU!

· a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

· I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

· I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

· Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"

· If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," call them and ask if they meant you or them.

· Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

· McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

· Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

· Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's
names.

· My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they
re-possessed her!

· A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

· Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

· A picture is now worth only 200 words.

· They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

· When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

· The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

· Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh
Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

· I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I
was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...